Thursday, January 30, 2014


Hi Y'all!

I'm glad to see y'all enjoyed my lil' parking space rant. Funny thing about that... the day after I posted it someone was parked in "my" handicap space without a permit. UGH! I let them live though because the snow knocked the sign down... but still... FRUSTRATION!

Sorry I haven't posted anything new in a week, I was actually insanely busy. With what you might ask? Remember how I wanted to set up an Etsy shop? Well, I decided not to because I remembered how much I hate etsy and their fees. So I opted for a better alternative... ladies and gentlemen I present to you *drumroll*

Yup, Crippie made these fabulous pieces of jewelry, and believe it or not they are made out of nail polish! These pieces and oodles more are available in my new online store "The Flying Frida"! Fun fact: all of the jewelry I sell is handicap friendly. The necklaces have long chains so you don't need to unfasten them and the rings are all adjustable to accommodate swollen joints. :D

Frida was always a fan of shiny things, I'd like to think she's somewhere looking at these with an expression like 0.0 . I absolutely love making nail polish jewelry and I had a blast putting the store together so if y'all could go check it out I'd really appreciate it! I'll be filling it with more sparkly goodies in the coming weeks and I'll definitely keep ya posted when I do. BTW, if anyone interested I'd be willing to do a tutorial on how to make these things. 

Crippie's Tippie - Check out my store! (shameless self promotion yes, but LOOK AT THE SHINY!)

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

On Handicap Parking Spaces


I hope all my lovely readers are enjoying this FRIGID COLD WEATHER! Ugh, I swear Mother Nature is an evil, evil woman. When I'm not at work or doing stuff and or thangs for my resolutions I am in bed with a heat pack. Crippie hates cold weather and cold weather hates Crippie. My joints get really stiff during this time of year, it's hard to move :( which leads me to tonight's topic... handicap parking permits. Prepare for a cripple rant folks!

One of my biggest pet peeves ever is when normals park in handicap spaces. It just makes my blood boil. Why? Partly because it's against the law and I am not a fan of law breaking in general. Mainly because it's rude and inconsiderate. Let me tell y'all a little story. At a place where I spend a great deal of time there is a smallish parking lot with one handicap space. I use this space most of the time because I freaking need to. Well... sometimes this parking lot gets a little crowded. What happens when the parking lot gets full? Normals stop caring about decency and laws and park in the handicap spot! I've seen people who I know go on daily hikes and are on volleyball teams parking in the handicap spot! There are places to park near this parking lot where these very active people could park... but no, they don't they take my spot! I actually had to say something to people high up at this place and told them to send a memo for people reminding them that it is illegal and wrong to park in a handicap spot without a sticker. Some people weren't pleased with me, but I don't care. I don't care about how crowded a parking lot gets. I don't care if it's only for a second. I really don't care if you have to walk an extra minute out of your way. You can walk. You'll live. If you are a normal these spots do not belong to you. They belong to people like me. We have earned our blue stickers and we pay a very heavy price for them.

This applies to other special parking spots too. Don't park in the "expecting mothers" spot unless you've got a really uncomfortable pregnant lady in your car. They're carrying an extra 30 pounds of small human, let them have their damn spot.

I'm not being a special snowflake here. I am not taking advantage of a system. I try to park in normal spots when my legs permit. I do park in normal spots when the handicap spots are taken. It's painful to walk sometimes, but I manage. This isn't entitlement. This isn't "oh I'm disabled... give me a good spot". No, being disabled is not just a term, there is baggage that goes with it... pain, restricted mobility, countless insanely valid reasons why I genuinely need to park closer to a building.

Being a dick is not a disability, thus you can park elsewhere!

Yeaaaaaaahhh... Crippie gets angry sometimes. So what do y'all think? Am I being too harsh? Not harsh enough? Should I print out business cards to stick on the windshields saying "Being a dick is not a disability"? Share your thoughts, I wanna hear 'em! And yes I do know that cripples abuse the handicap sticker but for the sake of today's argument I'm just talking about normals parking in the spots without a permit.

Crippie's Tippie - Before you get mad at a car/driver, check their license plate to make sure they don't have a handicap plate. I know too many people who have bitched out cripples because they didn't see the plates.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Crippie Plays The Tennessee Flat Top Box... Sorta...

Howdy Y'all! 

Crippie's back! Yet again! I spent most of last week in Nashville and I had an absolute blast. Here's a photo dump of most of the stuff I did.

I spent a whooooooollllllleee lotta time in a car. Over 16 hours each way. I kept myself occupied by listening to music and reading. Finally got a chance to read "Maus". Cannot recommend that book enough. 

I got to visit with my relatives, and their pets. My aunt's Shih Tzu loves me because I give good belly rubs and snuggles. And in case you are wondering, yes the dog is wearing a Christmas Tree hat and yes the dog tolerated it.

I got to see some old family photographs and postcards. These are from the 1920's. Hard to believe they're almost 100 years old!

I went to my favorite soda shop in Downtown Nashville. Last time I was there I tried the infamous "Bacon Soda" and while I tolerated it I'll never drink it again. This year I decided to be a grown-ass adult and opt for a "real" cream soda. This stuff is amazeballs!

Yeah... noooooooooooooooo


I stepped inside the "Johnny Cash Museum" for a hot second. Just long enough to see these punny soaps. 

I walked around Downtown Nashville without a cane! Actually, I walked everywhere this trip without a cane because I'm an idiot and left it at home. Whoops. Oh wells, I actually did very well and didn't injure myself. GO ME!

I ate a LOT. Crippie consumed an obscene amount of Southern food. Boy howdy I love me some country ham and biscuits and gravy. We also went to the only Jewish Deli in Nashville, aptly named "Noshville". So I also had a bagel and lox to balance out all the biscuits and gravy. This place is amazing and if any of my readers are in the general area y'all need to go there. It was also fun cause I got to watch all the goyim mispronounce the Jewish foods :D

We went on a walking bridge with spectacular views of the city. I've always loved Nashville's skyline. When I was little I used to call it "The Emerald City". 

Dat sunset *drools*
Would you believe that this was a candid shot and I was not trying to look like an idiot? 

See, I was trying to take good pictures like this! Also, while my legs are knock-kneed I'm bending it in this shot to it looks worse than it actually is.

Well, that's about it. I had an amazing time but now I've gotta get back into the swing of things here. I don't have much planned for this week, but I'm working on some resolutions so I'll actually be fairly busy. Night y'all!

Crippie's Tippie - Accept biscuits and gravy into your life

Saturday, January 11, 2014

So This Is What Being Normal Feels Like!

Greetings Comrades!

I hope you all are having a fantastic Saturday. :)

Judging by the title of this post you'd think it was about my disability but shockingly it's not. As some of you may or may not remember Crippie's hair has a mind of it's own. It's big, fluffy, frizzy, long, and naturally dreads very quickly. Don't remember? Let's see if these pics jog your memory...

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh... my hair sucks... I'll admit that. I swear to God a live rat once got tangled up in it (long story short of that... friends rat was grooming my hair, rat got tangled, rat starts crying, Crippie feels sorry for rat). Granted, part of the reason it sucks so much is the length, so while I was on my "Crippie Sucks at Blogging" sabbatical I went to have it cut... and while I was apologizing to the stylists who had to deal with this mess everybody in the damn salon (my mom, sister and the remainder of the stylists) convinced me to get a "keratin smoothing treatment". I was hesitant at first because I used to get my hair straightened in high school, and it made my hair fall out. All the stylists kept telling me "IT'S A SMOOTHING TREATMENT NOT A STRAIGHTENING TREATMENT!" and eventually I caved. I'm glad a caved too, because six hours later (you heard me right, SIX FREAKING HOURS) later, I was left with... brace yourselves... this!

OH MYLANTA MY HAIR IS NORMAL!!!! It had to be straight like this for a week before I could wash it and get my curls back (I hated how frizzy my hair was before, but I like the curly aspect). People didn't recognize me when I went into work! It was crazy! It didn't feel like my hair. My hair felt like straw, this new hair actually felt like hair. I didn't have to spend forever and a day trying to make it look presentable, it just did on it's own.
And when I washed my hair this was the result... not bad right? It's gained a little more volume in the past 2 months since I've done it, but that's probably a good thing. I cannot even begin to tell you guys how much better it feels to have hair that doesn't completely suck. It's sooooooooo much easier to maintain, especially since I physically have trouble maintaining my hair (my hair wouldn't have sucked so much before if I was able to defuse and or straighten it) All I have to do is wet it in the morning and I'm good to go. Crippie's definitely gonna be keeping this up. :D

Crippie's Tippie - If you're complimenting someone on their new hairdo or make-up say your hair looks "extra" good today, otherwise you're implying that it looked like crap before. 

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Piggie Post: Nellie Turns 5!

Ohai Everybody!

While I was taking my "I suck at blogging" break in November, a certain someone turned 5 and we threw a huge bash for her. How does one go about throwing a party for a guinea pig? Well, it's quite simple really... we just obtained a bouncy castle, and by bouncy castle I mean tub of hay that we dropped the pigs in.

Aggie was the first pig in and naturally she wasted no time and started chowing down. She had a grand ol' time at the party and spent the remainder of the night wondering why she wasn't always surrounded by unlimited amounts of hay. (Yup, this totally sucked to write... miss you Aggie)

Lucy was next to have a turn in the hay bin. Much to my surprise she HATED it. She kept trying to dig her way out of the bin. She was promptly returned to her cage to make room for more willing participants.

Pru and Maggie were next. They were good little noodles and had a jolly time frolicking in and eating the hay.
Eleanor and the birthday girl were next. This didn't last long though because Eleanor decided to be a party pooper and bite Nellie in the ass. Once Eleanor was removed against her will Nellie happily munched on all the hay her little heart could want.

Happy birthday Nellie Bellie! Time to relax and enjoy your senior pig years! I'm sure your mommy and sisters were celebrating with you too :)

Crippie's Tippie - When in doubt just give your piggies a crap ton of hay and they'll be happy

Monday, January 6, 2014

Have A Nice Trip!

Howdy Y'all

HOLY CRAP IT'S COLD OUT! I hope all of my readers are staying nice and toasty in the comfort of their homes. It's freaking freezing by me but I've been doing my best to keep warm. God I love electric heat pads.

I'm just dropping by to let y'all know that I'm going on a quick trip down south this week. Great week to go on vacation... yeah, yeah I know -_-. Believe it or not this will not stop me from posting. I mean, yes, technically it will because the place I'm going to doesn't have WiFi and thus cannot post. But I'm queuing some posts up now, so it's all good. Writing posts for the future is so weird, cause it's for... ya know... the future.

To make up for a ridiculously short post, here's some pics of Helen being adorable and hating the cold.

In case you are wondering, the clothes are partly for her warmth, partly for our enjoyment ;)

Crippie's Tippie - I might not be able to blog this week, but I should be able to use Twitter & Instagram.  If you miss me THAT much follow me @icanhasdesign for twitter and @scarwars10 for Instagram. 

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Resolution #9


I hope all my readers had a fantastic and safe New Year. I didn't do anything special, just nommed on shrimp cocktail whilst watching "The Walking Dead" and "The Twilight Zone" marathons.

Well, now that 2014 has crept on to us, it's time to discuss resolutions! I'm gonna roll with this Beatles pun and list nine of 'em (I didn't have nine when I started this post, but meh, I'll wing it). I'm gonna list 'em in order of importance that I complete them.

1) DRIVE ON HIGHWAYS - My driving skills have improved vastly over the past year and driving through some pretty craptacular snowstorms without wrecking my car has certainly boosted my confidence. This year Crippie is gonna take driving lessons to relearn highway driving. I've already found a place near me that caters to "anxious drivers" so that's good. Not knowing how to drive on highways/fear of complicated roads/fear of going to completely foreign places has held me back for far too long. This year it ends.

2) DESIGN CRAP - I've been meaning to open a Society6 shop for some time, but I've been burned the hell out and haven't been able to think about what I want to put in it. Do I wanna draw pictures of guinea pigs riding dinosaurs or do I want to be a mature adult and make some pretty typographic pieces? (Yes that was an actual thought process for me) I think I'm started to get a better idea of what kind of work I want to put into the world, expect to see a shnazzy shop full of awesome prints and t-shirts sooner or later this year.

3) BLOGGING GOD DAMN IT - Clearly I sucked at blogging last year. Here's to hoping that I get my act together this year. As always, if any of you have anything you want me to write about, feel free to post in the comments.

4) OPEN AN ETSY STORE - I'm actually well on my way to completing this. I had an etsy store in the past for design stuff, but I'm gonna close that and turn it into something else. Y'all are just gonna have to wait and see what I have in store. MOAR PUNS! I'm on a roll tonight!

5) DO MORE EXERCISES - Once the weather stops sucking I intend on doing more physical therapy exercises. While last year wasn't horrible pain wise it wasn't great either. I've gotta do some strengthening exercises, they should help reduce some of my discomfort.

6) EVEN MORE OF A SOCIAL LIFE - I did fairly well with this resolution last year and I plan on continuing this resolution this year.


8) REGULATE SLEEP CYCLE - I've been getting better at sleeping, I'm rarely awake past 2:30am, which for me is very impressive. Not even remotely close to perfect, so this year I'll continue on improving that.

9) TAKE ONLINE DEFENSIVE DRIVING COURSE - Partly for my driving anxieties, mainly to lower my insurance rates. ;)

YAY! I did it! Nine resolutions, w000000t! Let's see how much of this I can accomplish :)
In the meantime, here's a song that's pretty much gonna be my theme song for 2014.

Crippie's Tippie - Socially awkward but want to find a way to invite people over? Find people who like the same TV shows as you and invite them over to watch. You don't have to spend the entire time talking and the show itself gives you a conversation starter. 

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