Friday, June 29, 2012

I Can Has Insurance?


I don't know if you guys have heard about the whole "The Supreme Court ruled in favor of the Affordable Health Care Act" thing, but... THE SUPREME COURT RULED IN FAVOR OF THE AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE ACT!!! Personally, I believe that everyone in the country should have access to healthcare. Without this healthcare reform Crippie's future would be filled with soooooooooooooo many unknowns (well, more than the usual). Would I be able to get insurance in the first place with my pre-existing conditions? Even if I was able to get insurance, would they cover anything caused by my crippledness? If I can't get insurance, what will I do when something goes wrong? I get anxious just thinking about it. Crippie knows that the Affordable Health Care Act isn't perfect... but it's without a doubt a step in the right direction. If anyone disagrees with Crippie, feel free to post your opinions in the comment section. In the meantime, here's a collection of my favorite reactions thus far (I didn't make this images nor do I own them)

LOL, so there ya have it folks, again feel free to disagree (or agree that these memes are AWESOME) in comment section ;)

Crippie's Tippie - If car insurance and homeowner's insurance are mandatory, why not health insurance? People are more valuable than cars and houses... right?

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Do Mosquitos Love Cripples?


Crippie hopes all of her readers had a wonderful Wednesday. Crippie's day went rather well actually. I found out that one of my buddies is officially in remission from stage 4 cancer (Can I get a w000000t) and my sister might have found a job!!! I was also unusually achy today, probs because it's gonna rain on Friday. But the good news certainly trumped the pain today.

The great sleep saga continues tonight. I'm gonna attempt trying to write a coherent post late at night again. While it was certainly not successful last night, I realized that was due to my consumption of a caffeinated soda after 8pm. Oops... lesson learned.

Now... on to that title... summer has officially begun (YAY) and that means that bugs are in the air (boo). I don't know if it's just me... but mosquitos freakin' love me. Well... that's not entirely true. mosquitos love certain parts of me. When I was younger I would get eaten alive by those stupid bastards, I would be covered in bites from head to toe. Over the past couple of years (6 or 7 years maybe) bugs have been very selective when biting me. They like to bite me at my surgical sites. Only at my surgical sites. My wrists and my legs (which are always covered) get bitten while the rest of me is bite free. How weird is that? These aren't even new scars... some of 'em are 10 years old! Have any of my comrades had similar experiences? Is scar tissue tasty or something? I'm super curious if anyone else experiences this. If not, maybe it's proof that I am an animal whisperer! Maybe this is the mosquitos way of saying "You are the chosen one".

In guinea pig news, Maggie was hanging out with me tonight. She had a dandy time watching computer and listening to Lady Gaga. Seriously my pigs love her, they purr whenever Poker Face is played, it's probably something about the beat. Anyways, I took some insanely adorable pictures and Maggie wanted me to share them with you.

Is this my best side?

Or is THIS side better?

Ya know what, ALL of my sides are fantastic! I'M SO DAMN CUTE!
 I'm actually starting to get that "I'm about to pass out" feeling... sweeeeeeeeeeet. Perhaps this whole "trying to be coherent and write a blog at an ungodly hour of the night" thing helps. At least this gives me motivation to post daily again.

Crippie's Tippie - This summer's must have item is bug spray! 

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

How To Piss Off Crippie


This isn't a giant cripple rant post! I'm just answering a cripple question... I SWEAR!

Before I get to the cripple question, I must make a tiny confession. Today (yesterday, whatever) I was going to go to the animal shelter and adopt the walking wig that is Meatloaf, but alas... he found a home on Saturday. Congrats to Meatloaf's new owners... let's hope he gets a nice hair trim. Crippie will continue to check Petfinder and Craigslist for piggies. Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll find a piggie to add to my herd. Just a quick tip for people searching Craigslist for piggies... be wary of people selling baby pigs, they could very well be "back-door breeders". These guys know little about pig genetics and you could very easily wind up with a very sick little pig. Not to mention the whole breeding is insanely dangerous for the mommy and the babies thing.

Moving on, since posting some of my infamous "STOP COMPLAINING" cripple rants I've been asked "Apart from your oh so subtle hatred of complaining, do normals do anything else to grind your gears?"

Well, the complaining thing is without a doubt my top pet peeve. I find it absolutely infuriating at times. Crippie does have some other pet peeves that annoy the hell out of me. Again, these peeves annoy me... they don't make me really angry or anything, they just piss me off.

This Is Just God's Way Of _______________
Sorry if this offends anyone, but when anyone tells me that my disability is part of God's plan for me, or God's way of teaching me something I get annoyed. The concept of God wanting me suffer seems so cruel. I can't imagine a loving God willingly doing that to a person. I hate this approach to disability in general. There is no reason for people to be disabled... it just happens. Crippie can however recognize that people are entitled to their own religious opinions. Whenever someone tells me this I usually just keep my mouth shut and brush it off. 

There are perks to being a cripple, and these perks are nice to have (handicapped parking, etc.) But when a Normal tells me that I'm lucky for having these perks I get angry. When I was in school so many people would tell me how lucky I was that I didn't have to go to gym class. Crippie wanted to say "Don't you know how lucky you are that you CAN go to gym class?!?!?!". People don't realize that while cripples do have the occasional benefit we pay a heavy price for them. I would much rather be a normal without the perks than be a cripple with the perks. 

Stop Being Lazy!
Crippie has chronic fatigue, so I get very tired very easily. I hate when people call me lazy for one reason or another. CRIPPIE IS NOT LAZY! CRIPPIE IS GENUINELY TIRED!!! 

and on an issue unrelated to disability "You know that people eat guinea pigs right?"
OMG STOP, CRIPPIE IS AWARE THAT PEOPLE EAT GUINEA PIGS! You can stop telling me stories about how some dude on the food channel ate a guinea pig, or sending me a video of people picking out their piggie, cooking them, and eating them. First off, people don't technically eat guinea pigs, they eat Cuy, a larger version of guinea pigs. Second, my piggies are my babies, I DO NOT WANT TO THINK OF THEM DEAD! It's not funny. It's not nice. Next time someone jokes about eating one of my pigs because they are wheeking, I'll take that pig out and make them urinate on the offender. Crippie knows how to make them pee on command. I'll do it. Nobody puts my babies in a corner! 

That's about it, the piggie one probably annoys me most of all. In other news, Crippie is still trying to go to sleep. I tried playing The Sims last night in order to get me tired... it kinda worked. Tonight I tried blogging... CLEARLY did not work seeing as how it's almost 5 in the morning. Crippie wishes she were more like her babies, they can sleep anywhere at any time.

If I fits, I sleeps
Food Coma snuggles

Crippie's Tippie - If you tell a cripple that they are lucky to have a disability, there is a fair chance that they will beat your senseless with their mobility aid.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Sleeping Crippie


I hope all my crippled comrades had a marvelous weekend, Crippie especially hopes that her local cripples enjoyed that heatwave. It was so freakin' hot this weekend, my goodness. Luckily I didn't have to outside for many reasons. I was worried about all of animals but thankfully I had no reason to worry. The piggies got through the heatwave unscathed, Helen enjoyed sleeping in the warm grass when she would go out for walks (she really is lazy), and Angel hated the weather, but she got ice cubes in her water which she enjoyed. So all is well in Crippie's animal kingdom.

This weekend was rather eventful for my family. I got the see the final two performances of my sister's show. The last couple of shows were damn near sold out. While I have no proof, I'm gonna say that my publicity is totally responsible for it. Crippie had a jolly time at all of the productions and I have now memorized most of the show. This happens every time I see one of my sister's shows. I end up memorizing 'em. I can still recite most of the songs from "Into The Woods" and that show was over 5 years ago :D. Anyways... here are some pics I took over the weekend...

Helen is a lazy bum

She steals my pillows, all the freakin' time 

A view near the playhouse, gotta love the Hudson River!

Passed a carnival on the way home 
Sunday on the Hudson with a Sailboat (broadway humor) 
And Crippie was killing time by taking pictures

Moving on, Crippie has a question for her readers. It seems that I have a loooooot of difficulty in the "going to sleep" department. My usual night time schedule is to usually go on the computer until I feel like I'm going to pass out. At the point I fall asleep rather quickly. The problem is that it is around 3-4 in the morning when this occurs. I could simply get off my damn computer at a decent hour, but here lies the problem... say Crippie is rather tired, but not ready to pass out tired. If I were to simply go to bed all of the sudden Fanny would decide to act up, so you've got a good 45 minutes of tossing and turning there. After I get comfy-ish my shoulder will be like "OHAI... I'm gonna hurt you now!" so I spend another 45 minutes popping my shoulder and tossing and turning. THEN my neck will be like, "Ya, know... I was comfier the other way". THEN my hip will be like "WTF... I WAS COMFY BEFORE!". Long story short it takes me hours to fall asleep. Me thinks I need to find a way to get to the "I'm about to pass out" stage sooner. Any suggestions readers? 

Crippie's Tippie - One thing I've tried that has had mild success was to do sudoko puzzles at night with low light. It strains my eyes and makes me sleepier sometimes. Other times I get really focused on the puzzle and stay up trying to solve it. Not perfect, but better than nothing.

Friday, June 22, 2012

*Insert Cute Title Here*


Crippie wanted to give a special shout out to my Russian readers. Apparently I have a lot of them! Fun Fact: Crippie is 50% Russian.

It looks like we're gonna have another one of those "it's 4 in the morning, I can't sleep and I'm blogging about random things going on in my life" kinda posts. I really need to fix my sleep schedule.

Crippie's day went very well, even though it was hot as balls here (over 97 degrees at times). I saw the my sister is in her show again. BTW peoples, there are still four more performances left! One tomorrow night, 2 on Saturday, and one on Sunday! If you are in the area you should totally go to the Railroad Playhouse in Newburgh and check it out! There's also a restaurant in lobby that makes nomerful food. Crippie had "Honey Citrus Pepper" chicken wings... omg soooooo good. Crippie wishes she had taken a picture of 'em... but gosh darn it... I was so hungry that I just dove in.

Once we're all done with this show, Crippie will try to schedule Fanny's removal. Keep your fingers crossed that I can get her out in September.

In animal news, Angel got very sick a few days ago. She probably ate something that didn't agree with her. Poor baby wasn't allowed to eat for a whole day. She recovered very quickly and is now back to her good ol' self. Helen is still convinced that she is peoples. She was sleeping on my bed before when she had a nightmare and starting whimpering. Crippie had to hold her like a little baby in my arms and rock her till she calmed down and fell asleep again. All of the piggies are doing well, although Nellie has been having a lot of "special" moments recently. These moments include diving into the hay (literally), turning her cuddle cup on it's side and sticking her head in it, and having staring contests with walls. Nellie is kinda special like that.

Speaking of piggies, remember how Crippie said she'd be keeping her eye out for piggies in shelters? Well, recently Crippie found this little nugget on petfinder!
His name is Meatloaf and his petfinder profile can be viewed HERE. He appears to be a Texel/Peruvian mix. It appears that the shelter is planning on neutering him, so he could theoretically live with Mama, Frida, and Nellie. Crippie will probably go and visit him sometime next week. While I am tempted to adopt him, there are a lot of factors to consider. If he's a total asshole like Maggie or Emma an introduction would be damn near impossible. This dude's hair is also major thing to think about, from the picture it's pretty clear that he has HAIR, and that hair needs to be maintained. Judging by the picture alone, me thinks his prior owners trieeeeeddd to maintain his hair... a little. While I'm interested in the walking wig, I do have 5 pigs already, so if anyone else out there is looking for a piggie... consider this one!

So yeah, that's about it... Crippie is gonna try and get some sleep now

Crippie's Tippie - See my sister's show and go visit Meatloaf

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Growing Up Crippie


First off, "Crippie's Corner" has reached over 20,000 page views! HOLY FREAKIN' CRAP! Thank you guys so much. When Crippie started blogging I was shocked to see that I had 20 views. I cannot put it into words how much it means to me that you guys are interested in what I say (my piggies are in the background saying "um... mom... all those people just wanna see our faces"). Gotta give a special shout out to Mary, Mario, & Chris for their awesome comments :D

Since we are dealing with a special occasion here, Crippie figured she should answer a cripple question of awesome caliber... "how did having a disability effect you growing up?" Where to begin...

When Crippie was just a lil Crippie, let's say under 10, I knew I had "bumpy bones" and that they made me suck at gym, but that was about it. My disability had a relatively small impact on my life. I had some really good friends, went to birthday parties, did well in school, all that normal jazz. The only time being a cripple really had an impact was in gym. I was horrrrriiiiiibbbbbblllllleeeeeee at most gym activities and kids would pick on me for it. Again, relatively minor in the scheme of things.

Crippie had surgery when she was 10 make my leg straight, and I wound up with massive complications. This is when my disability had a profound effect on me. I was in constant pain, couldn't walk, and couldn't attend school. My "friends" along with damn near everyone I knew opted to no longer associate with me. Fun, right? So Crippie spent the next few years with minimal social contact. Being visibly crippled and being in Middle School do not mix... at all. I was never invited to "hang out" with people, never attended a birthday party, nothing. No one wanted to associate with me so I became very used to being alone. I focused on my studies, I figured winning tons of awards and whooping everyone's butts in class was a subtle "screw y'all".

In high school most people still wouldn't associate with Crippie, but I figured ways to better select friends. Crippie opted to hang with people who wouldn't shun me for being a cripple... these people were other cripples and members of a local religious commune. I had a handful of friends in high school and at age 17 I was finally invited to a birthday party! Still, I had very limited social interaction. My summers were consumed with surgeries, so I couldn't exactly go "hang out" with people. Crippie compensated for the general physical sickness and social inadequacies by being insanely smart. Crippie did insanely well on all of her exams, and graduated in the top percent of her class. I never missed a day of high school and won a bunch of scholarships and awards!

I guess it's safe to say that being a cripple had a massive effect on my life, especially my social life. This is why Crippie doesn't take a lot of her "autistic tendencies" terribly seriously... hard to tell if they're actually autistic tendencies or a result of being treated like crap by damn near everyone outside of my family. It was definitely challenging growing up with a disability. It was very painful, very frustrating, and very isolating. The more I think about it... the more I realize that my life really sucked from ages 10-18. Alas, no point in dwelling on that... now Crippie has to acknowledge the crap, learn from it, and move on.

Crippie's Tippie - If your friend is sick, having surgery, anything... don't act like they fell off the face of the Earth. Hang out with them, call, text, post a message on their facebook wall, ANYTHING to let them know that you do in fact care. 

P.S. Anyone interested in hearing about growing up with a disability from my mom's point of view? I know she certainly has some tippies for the normals

Monday, June 18, 2012

To Slice or Not to Slice


I hope all my crippled comrades had a lovely Monday. Mine went very well, mainly because today was my mom's birthday! Crippie successfully managed to surprise her mom several times today. For example, I told my mother that I had to go to work early today, while in reality I had to go pick up cupcakes (that was my mom's only request for the day). Crippie rushed out the door without properly saying goodbye, only to sneak back in the house 10 minutes later with cupcakes in hand. Crippie is sneaky like that.

Moving on, I actually have a cripple question for y'all today! Crippie has had 10 surgeries, most of those surgeries were elective. Crippie and Crippie alone decided to have certain things done. People have asked me "Why on Earth would you want to have surgery?" and "How did you decide that surgery was necessary?".

First off, most MHE related surgeries involve removing problematic tumors. If a tumor gets wrapped up or caught in a muscle or a nerve it hurts like a mofo. If it does not resolve itself on it's own, it needs assistance. Crippie chooses to have surgery when...
1) The pain of the surgery will probably be less than the pain I'm in now
2) Quality of life is affected
3) There is the potential for something to go realllyyyyy wrong
4) It's a super fun high risk tumor

Essentially Crippie chooses to have surgery when the pros outweigh the cons. The cons can be pretty serious sometimes. Any surgery has the potential to go very wrong. Complications happen. Crippie is well aware of the damage a surgery can do. So the problem has to be pretty serious.

Take Fanny for example, I'm choosing to remove her for several reasons
1) My hip freakin' hurts
2) the sciatica is causing mobility issues with my leg which could get worse (my leg could become permanently bent)
3) She's a super fun high risk tumor
4) Her size is become cumbersome, I can't lay on a hard surface

To help illustrate my point, I made a little checklist thingy for y'all. Maybe it'll be useful for someone...

Crippie's Tippie - Do not take surgeries lightly, they suck... so your problems have to suck more than they do.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Happy Father's Day!


Crippie wants to wish all of the dads out there a very happy father's day. My dad spent his special day working on our lawn and seeing my sister's show... which, BTW you can still see next week people!

I would write a whole big speech about how awesome my dad is, but seeing as how he doesn't understand what a "blog" or for that matter "the internet" are... so he'd never see it. Crippie will say that my dad is really freaking awesome. He works insanely hard to support us and he will do anything and everything for us. My dad hates to see me in any form of discomfort and he does everything in his power to make my life as painless as possible. He's also a very good daddy to all the animals, supplying them with all the treats their little hearts could desire.

Crippie is truly blessed to have the wonderful family that she has. We're not perfect by any means... but we're pretty awesome as whole. I'm so incredible grateful for everything my parents have done for me. I know probably sound like a broken record sometimes with all this "be thankful for what you have" stuff, but it's true... especially when it comes to your family. There are people out there who do not appreciate their families, and that makes me kinda sad. Sure, some people have every right to hate their relatives... but a lot of people don't. Our families won't always be around, how's about we recognize how much we love our families while they are still here.

Sorry it's a such a short post tonight, Crippie is getting tired. To make up for it... here are some pictures of Angel passed out on my sofa.

Crippie's Tippie - Realize what you have WHILE you have it!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Can You Hear Me Now?


Crippie hopes all her crippled comrades had a lovely Friday. My Friday was pretty uneventful, work, nap, pet, etc. Crippie wanted to share some lovely videos with y'all.

While Crippie was in college I took a class called "Sensation & Perception". It was about how your senses work. One day my teacher showed the class a documentary called "Sound & Fury" about cochlear implants and the controversy that first surrounded them. Cochlear implants are basically kick-ass bionic ears for people who were born deaf and or have very profound hearing loss. These things are amazing, they give people the gift of hearing! Many people have filmed the activation of their cochlear implants and put them on YouTube. Crippie loves watching these things, it's just so incredible to watch someone hear for the first time. I've literally spent hours watching 'em. Here are a few of my favorites...
Aren't these awesome! I love the whole concept of "one minute you can't hear and then all of the sudden you can". Their reactions are priceless... I love how they are all like "This... Is... AWESOME". Gotta also love how they cannot even begin to grasp how much their lives just changed. Adults can receive cochlear implants as well. Naturally, they understand what's going on so their reactions are a little different...
Yeah, these things are awesome. There are people that are opposed to cochlear implants. I can't understand why though. I know that they feel like they destroy deaf culture, but I don't see that. Sign language is a lovely language and it will never go away, it won't matter if there are fewer people that need to use it. Ultimately, being deaf is a disability... if you can treat/cure it... why wouldn't you?

Crippie is curious if any of her readers have any opinions on this issue? Do you think cochlear implants are killing deaf culture/deaf pride?

Crippie's Tippie - Check out the documentary "Sound and Fury" if you get a chance. It's on Netflix! 

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Crippie is a Model of a Modern Major General


How are all of my comrades today? Crippie has had a very busy day. Before I go into detail, Helen has been very angry with me and she wants me to make a correction to my last post. Crippie didn't mention that Helen helped me with that little photo shoot of my stuff. Don't believe me? See it for yourself...
Hey, helping Crippie out is hard work. Moving on, Crippie's day was super eventful because I got to see my sister in a local production of "The Pirates or Penzance". It's a hilarious show about special Pirates. For all my local readers, Crippie 110% recommends this show. The actors are amazing, the production is incredible, and it's in a fabulous black-box theatre with a pizza parlor in the lobby! You can't beat that! Seriously y'all... I've had to see my fair share of shows because my sister was in 'em and this is definitely in the upper echelon of shows. I'm probably going to be seeing the show several times this weekend. If any of you guys are in the Newburgh, NY area you should totally come!
Crippie's Tippie - SEE THE SHOW!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Crippie And The Pocketbook Challenge

Greetings Crippled Comrades!

Crippie is rather fond of that nickname, do y'all approve?

So, Crippie was browsing her list of "normal" lifestyle blogs for people my age and I noticed that a lot of them make posts about the contents of their pocketbooks. Crippie thought "Well hey, I need to clean out my pocketbook so I might as well post all the goodies I carry with me at all times". Also, apparently Crippie is weird for saying "pocketbook" rather than purse or handbag. I couldn't recall the last time I gave my pocketbook a good clean out so I was very afraid as to what I might find. Shockingly, I found nothing terribly gross and or alive! Even more shockingly, I found several dollars in loose change... YAY CRIPPIE! Anywhoooooo, after the successful clean out Crippie was able to fit all of her essentials into her pocketbook again!

Crippie has the following things in her pocketbook at all times...
(not pictured) Keys & Phone, Ace Bandage, Flash Drive, Bubbles in a plastic severed thumb, Bertie Botts Every Flavored Jelly Beans, Business Cards in a spiffy holder, Glasses Case, Wallet, my swipe key for work in a spiffy case, pill container with collapsing cup, & gum.

If any of you guys are wondering, I have Bubbles in a severed thumb container because they were a door prize at a zombie-themed parade thing in college. I put the bubbles in my pocketbook thinking "Gee, I should keep these here, because you never know when you need bubbles". That was well over a year ago, and I've switched pocketbooks several times. Crippie just feels like every girl needs a severed thumb in her purse.

Apart from the severed thumb, everything for the most part is pretty normal. Crippie uses the ace bandage in the event that a tumor decides to be an asshole and I need to restrict movement in the limb. The pill container with cup comes in supppeeeeerrrrrrrr handy. I cannot tell you guys how many times I've needed to take a pill and there were no cups to be found, especially while traveling. I cannot recommend these things enough. They are small, uber portable, and beyond useful. There ya have it people... Crippie keeps a severed thumb in her pocketbook.

Oh, almost forgot to mention... Crippie now has a way for people to ask me cripple questions! Just go to my tumblr and ask me questions there, beware though... my tumblr is full is weird things and swears.

Crippie's Tippie - Want a Pill Holder/Cup? You can find them HERE.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Crippie Discusses The Tony Awards

Hi Y'all!

Did all my crippled comrades have a fabulous weekend? I hope so. Crippie's weekend went rather well. I worked on Saturday, and today was the Tony Awards! Since the Tony Awards were at 8 I needed something to do for the rest of the day. The weather was nice for parts of today so I decided to take Aggie and Maggie outside for some much needed sun and exercise. Aggie is my fattest pig at 1,300 grams (that's heavy for a pig) so Crippie has to help her lose some grams. My goal weight for her is 1,100 - 1,200 grams. I've got to think of ways to increase her activity levels. I thought today's adventure would be a good opportunity for her to burn some calories, but she spent the entire time eating. *sigh* Anywhooo... PHOTO DUMP!
She had all the space in the world but...

WHERE AM I?!?!?!? 
Oh, this is edible... cool.
Yin & Yang 
Moving on the the highlight of my night... THE TONY AWARDS! Crippie absolutely loved the show, it was very well produced and entertaining! There were no issues with the sound and no one was pelted in the head with scenery... again. NPH was his always brilliant self and I love how they "photobombed" the shots of the crowd as they were about to go to commercial. Crippie's favorite part of the show was the performance from "Once". "Gold" was my favorite song from the movie and I was beyond happy seeing them perform it. I was literally grinning from ear to ear. If you didn't get a chance to see it for yourselves... take a look... IT'S AMAZING!
Now, as some of you might remember, a few weeks ago Crippie made her guesses for the winners. While I wasn't spot on... I did pretty well. 
Crippie guessed "Once"
Crippie was RIGHT!

Crippied guessed "Once"
Crippie was RIGHT!

Crippie guessed "Newsies"
Crippie was RIGHT

Crippie guessed "Porgy & Bess"
Crippie was RIGHT

Crippie guessed Norm Lewis for "Porgy & Bess"
INCORRECT Steve Kazee won for "Once"

Crippie guessed Audra McDonald for "Porgy & Bess"
Crippie was RIGHT!

Crippie guessed Michael Cerveris for "Evita"
INCORRECT Michael McGrath won for "Nice Work If You Can Get It"

Crippie guessed Elizabeth A. Davis for "Once"
INCORRECT Judy Kaye won for "Nice Work If You Can Get It"

Not my greatest guess ever... but not bad. Crippie is thrilled that "Once" practically swept the awards. The other shows were good, don't get me wrong... but "Once" is unique and brilliant. The one thing that pissed me off about tonight was that "Peter and the Star Catcher" practically swept the awards for the play category... YET THEY DIDN'T WIN BEST PLAY! WTF!!! Did any of you guys watch the Tony Awards? What did y'all think?

Crippie's Tippie - If you haven't seen the movie "Once" yet, please do so. It's so adorably wonderful

Saturday, June 9, 2012

That Went Better Than Expected


The Mama Pig Update - She seems to be stable again. She probably had a very minor UTI that we were able to treat by flushing her out. It's become pretty apparent that Mama, Frida, and Nellie are genetically prone to UTIs and bladder issues. Knowing this Crippie has to make a special effort to keep their tushies clean. This involves changing their bedding more frequently, occasionally wiping their butts with a pet wipe, and maybe trimming the fur by their bums. Sure, it's a little more effort, but it's soooooo much easier than taking care of a pig with a massive UTI.

I hope all my crippled comrades are having a lovely week. Crippie's week is going oddly well. First off, Crippie managed to redesign the blog (one of my new year's resolution)! It's not completely done yet, but I figured out how to make a custom navigation bar and remove some parts of the HTML/CSS coding that I didn't like in the original theme! YAY ME! If anyone is wondering how I did this, Crippie has a very basic knowledge of HTML and CSS, and what I didn't know I looked up and occasionally just googled "how do I make a custom navigation bar on blogger" or "How do I get rid of the white panels in my blogger theme". Crippie used Adobe Illustrator to make her new header and menu, I lurv me some Adobe Illustrator. Overall the whole process was much less daunting than I thought it would be. Crippie thought she was gonna crash the blog or something, soooooo happy I didn't break this thing.

On Thursday I went to my bi-monthly pain management appointment. It went very well and we bowed down to my doctor for guessing the whole sciatica thing before anyone else. She recommended that I do exercises to keep my sciatica at bay for the time being. My doctor also told me how much full blown sciatica sucks, so that reaffirmed my decision to remove Fanny.

Speaking of Fanny, today I decided to tell my boss that I will need 2-3 weeks off of work to have surgery. Crippie's opted to be very upfront with her. I told her that I have a genetic disorder that causes bone tumors to grow on my bones, that I have a tumor the size of a grapefruit on the back of my hip, and that I need to have it removed. My boss was super nice and supportive about the whole thing. I did stress that the surgery doesn't have to be done immediately so I can wait for a slow period in work. She said that if that doesn't work, she can just hire a temp for 2 weeks, no big deal. Soooooooooo relieved. I was nervous as to how my boss would react to me telling her what was wrong with me, her only question for me was "Are you in pain?". It was kinda adorable actually. It's good to know that my boss actually cares. Now Crippie has to try to schedule her surgery, that'll be interesting to say the least.

Crippie's Tippie - If your boss/doctor/superior/whatever doesn't care about your general well being... they suck

Thursday, June 7, 2012

What The Hell Is Crippie Doing?

Hi Y'all

Crippie is in the process of redesigning the blog, it's now in it's awkward teen phase. If I don't mess anything up everything should be back to normal tomorrow. So please be patient and bear with my funny lookin' blog for a little while. Thanks!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

...... RESULTS!

At long last, I can complete the "How I Met Your Mother" joke! But first...

The Mama Pig Update - Mama started stabilizing again last night once I began flushing her. She stopped peeing blood again and is acting like nothing ever happened. I'm gonna keep flushing her for the next few days just to make sure it's all gone.

Now... for the MRI results... drum pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum*
Fanny is pressing on a muscle and my sciatic nerve. That being said, my doctor doesn't think Fanny is a threat to my overall well being and it is completely up to Crippie whether or not I want to remove her. I WANT TO REMOVE HER... she really hurts! Since Fanny is totally NOT CANCEROUS I can wait for a convenient time to remove her. Maybe in the fall... we'll see. As for the pelvic issue, my doctor couldn't find anything in the MRI that would be causing those issues. So, his original guess that my lack of "junk in the trunk" mixed with a lot of sitting has caused my pain is probably the case. The MRI also picked up some other little tidbits and tumors, but nothing of use. So overall Crippie is a relatively healthly 23-year-old with bone condition and a massive tumor on the back of her hip... apart from those things... all is well! Crippie is soooooooooooo pleased with her MRI results, I really couldn't have asked for anything better... so thanks for all the ninja vibes guys... THEY TOTALLY WORKED!

Crippie feels sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo relieved that there is no urgency to get rid of Fanny. I've lived with her pain for years, I can wait for a convenient time. Speaking of which... next step will be telling my boss that I need to take 2.5 weeks off work to have surgery. At least I can wait for a really slow period in the work schedule. Any tippies for telling a boss that you need surgery?

Crippie's Tippie - Look on the bright side... I could be pissed about how I'm gonna need surgery to fix my hip problem, but I'm just happy that my hip problem can be fixed!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Keep On Waiting.......


The Mama Pig Update - Annnnnnnnnnnddd we're back to square one. I returned home from work today to find blood in the trio's cage. After inspecting all the pigs I discovered that it was Mama Pig. After watching her for a little bit I came to the conclusion that she has another UTI. *Sigh* We're gonna attempt to flush out the infection. Crippie has been giving Mama Pig about 2 cc's of water every 3 hours or so. I'm also giving her the chinese herb Shilintong, which should act as an anti-inflamitory. If she doesn't get better we'll take her to a vet. Mama Pig probably is genetically predisposed to bladder issues. She passed this trait on to Nellie, Frida, and Emma. So they will all periodically get UTI's. So yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh, Mama Pig requests ninja healing vibes. She's ever so tired of being sick.

Moving on to MRI news, my doctor has reviewed my film and he will let us know what's going on tomorrow. While this is kinda annoying that he couldn't have just called us with the results, this is ultimately a good thing. If my ortho was concerned about a tumor being cancerous he would have called us today. He also said that I don't need a second MRI... YAY CRIPPIE!!! This also means that my ortho could clearly see my pelvis in my first MRI and that he should hopefully know why I was having problems sitting! Crippie is super curious to find out what's going on with that. The whole sitting issue has improved quite a bit with my total pillow buddy. I now only use that at work, cause that's where I sit the longest. Crippie eagerly awaits these results. Thanks for keeping your fingers crossed guys, it's been working thus far!

Since I'm pretty sure that Fanny will be removed Crippie can't help but think of funny things to do with the tumor. I know I want a photograph on Fanny once she's out, but Crippie thinks it would be rather amusing to keep her in a jar. Crippie could glue google-y eyes on it! It would be like "my pet rock"... ONLY MORE AWESOME! If y'all think that this is just bizarre and creepy, this is just how Crippie eases herself into situations like this. I have to laugh about how I'll have a huge scar on my ass... and knowing my luck it will keloid. It will be like cripple tramp stamp! I can also picture the recovery process like the hospital scene from Forrest Gump... lying on my tummy eating ice cream.

Again, might seem weird that Crippie thinks like this, but finding the humor in situations like this makes them soooooooooooooooooooooooo much more bearable.

 Crippie's Tippie - Humor is the greatest medicine. If you don't laugh about something, you'll cry

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Still Waiting For It.............................


The Mama Pig Update - The patient has stabilized! Mama Pig no longer needs to be monitored every night or every other night. She will now be monitored on a "oohhh there's something good on TV that Mama Pig will enjoy basis". In other words, she does not need to be monitored anymore. We'll just keep ours eyes on her when we take her out for snuggles. Mama Pig's last monitoring was Saturday. She and I watched my other favorite reality show other than "16 and Pregnant/Teen Mom" which is "Oddities". Mama Pig was enthralled with show, not to mention some special blueberry treats. Mama Pig pooped up a storm all within a relatively short amount of time! Mama Pig has gotten her groove back! YAY MAMA PIG!

I'm glad that Mama Pig and I have similar tastes in reality TV, because most of the people in my house don't enjoy these shows as much I do. BTW, if any of you guys have the Science Channel and a strong stomach, Crippie totally recommends "Oddities" its about an antique shop in NYC that sells freaky, creepy stuff. Crippie enjoys it because there is no other show on TV where you hear things like "I'm looking for a mummified head please" or "Actually this is a necklace made out of gallstones". It's just bizarre and I love it. Crippie told her mom that when Fanny is removed I want to keep it, polish it, and turn it into a necklace. The look on her face was priceless!

Speaking of Fanny... still waiting for my results, my doctor should get the images tomorrow. Let's keep our fingers crossed for "good enough" news. Crippie realllyyyyyy wants to know what her doctor thinks cause Fanny is being a literal pain in the ass. All the recent weather changes have cause a bit of a Fanny flare up. It now hurts whenever I move my hip to get up, sit down, etc. It's the weirdest thing, it's like I can feel Fanny rubbing against something (probs a muscle)... not a comfortable feeling at all.

Crippie thinks that her dogs have sensed that I've been in a lot of pain because they keep wanting to hang out with me. Angel is usually a very private dog, but all of the sudden she wants chill in my room with me. She's even been sleeping in my room. Angel has her own (very comfy) bed in my parent's room, yet, she's been choosing to sleep on my carpet. And Helen usually sleeps on her (very comfy) bed in my sister's room. For the past couple of nights she's been getting restless, wandering the halls at night, and crying until she is placed in my bed for a sleepover. Once here, she finds "her" throw pillow and sleeps on my bed. Helen was even browsing reddit with me ;) It's good to know that these little furballs are looking out for Crippie.

Completely random, but Crippie has discovered that she has a hidden talent. Apparently I can bark like a dog... really well. Crippie found out this gem of while I had Helen out in the yard, I was playing with her by barking like a dog. All of the sudden I hear all of my neighbor's dog's barking at me! Reckon my dog bark is pretty convincing :D I tried my "amazing" dog bark with Angel, she gave me a look that probably meant "Are you on drugs or something?" Crippie now feels the need to prove to Angel that my dog bark is convincing. 

Crippie's Tippie - Moist heat is God's gift to cripples

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Wait For It..................


The Mama Pig Update - Mama appears to be stable. She's returned to her perky old self. She eats, drinks, roams about the cage as usual. Crippie will continue to monitor her on occasion. I'll also be keeping my eyes on the whole "losing her hair thing" if it was related to the whole tummy thing the hair will grow back in a week or so. If not, I'll have to look into ovarian cyst treatments. I hear there are hormone injections that treat the problem so I wouldn't have to worry about spaying her.

On to the MRI! Crippie sent her doctor the MRI images today. He should receive them by Monday. Hopefully I'll get some results by Wednesday. While the MRI images were in my possession I tried to look at them and see if I could spot the problem. Alas, I cannot read MRIs in the same way I read X-Rays. One thing I could tell from the images is that fanny is freakin' huge! From what I could see, I saw a normalish looking hip and then BAM.... MASSIVE TUMOR STICKING OUT OF IT!!! My guess is that the MRI will show that Fanny is freakishly large and is pressing against something. Crippie's gut reaction is that I will be needing surgery to remove Fanny. This doesn't worry me in the slightest. Crippie will just have to find a good time to take two weeks off of work, remove Fanny, and be done with it. Would any of my lovely readers have any tips on telling their boss that they need to have surgery?

One thing Crippie is slightly anxious about is the possibility that Fanny transformed into a cancerous tumor. Her rapid growth, super fun size, and the fact that she causes pain do point to that possibility. If *knock on wood* Fanny turns out to be a super fun cancer tumor Crippie will need to remove it as soon as humanly possible. While I could deal with that, I hope that's not the case. On the bright side I didn't get any calls from the radiologist saying "get your ass to an oncologist ASAP". If it was blatantly obvious that Fanny was a super fun cancer tumor, someone would have told me. Let's keep our fingers crossed that Fanny is nothing more than a special high risk tumor.

In random Guinea Pig news... yesterday Crippie went to the pet store to obtain dog food and I went to look at their piggies. Most of them were super happy energetic babies, but there was one who was looked really sad. The poor little guy has been there for months and is now "on sale" for 5 dollars. I went to take a closer look as to why he was so sad and I quickly realized why. Poor baby had some form of eye injury or infection. I couldn't tell if the eye in question had been removed all ready or not but I don't think he'll be able to see from it again... and if that eye hasn't been removed it probably needs to be. Crippie cannot afford the vet bills for this special guy, otherwise I would have scooped him right up. Seriously, you could be looking at over $1,000 for the vet bills. So if any of my local readers are looking for a male pig and can afford to take care of this one... please take him. He's a beautiful pig, he looks like Maggie with a white beard. I'm sure that with love and treats he'll be a sweet little boy. Crippie thinks that you can probably convince the store's owner to give him to you for free, since it's probably their fault that he lost his eye. Feel free to contact Crippie if you have any questions.

Crippie's Tippie - Learn to read MRI's... saves you soooooooooooooo much anxiety
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