Monday, April 30, 2012

April End She Will

Howdy Y'all

It's hard to believe that April is over. That means the 30 posts in 30 days challenge has come to an end :(. Even though Crippie didn't follow most of the prompts, and I missed a few days... I consider this a success.

Now for the Mama Pig update. We couldn't take her to the vet today. Alas, our usual vet's office no longer treats guinea pigs. We were able to find a place in Jersey that can take care of a pig, but their particular vet that handles pigs wasn't in today. *Sigh* Yeaaaaaaahhh... so tomorrow Mama Pig will definitely go see a vet. If you are considering getting a Guinea Pig, remember they are technically "exotic pets" and not all vets are prepared to treat them. You'll need to find a good exotics vet who knows what they are talking about.

So what's wrong with Mama Pig? I'm still not gonna jinx anything by telling you, but let me put it this way... without some form of medical intervention she would die. Another word of advice to pig owners, if you pig is sick... help them. Please don't leave them in their cage to die. Crippie can't believe that there are people who do nothing if their pigs get sick, not even trying homeopathic treatments. How can people think that these guys are not worth saving? If I were to hypothetically opt to do nothing with Mama Pig she would stop eating, stop weeing, stop pooping and die a painful death... this process would of course take a few days so I'd be letting her slowly suffer. C'mon people, if you buy a pet accept ALL the responsibilities that go along with it. One of your responsibilities is to keep your animal alive for as long as humanely possible.

Sorry that I'm ending my 30 posts in 30 days with "Debbie Downer" posts, but I do hope that those pictures of the goats helped make up for it. Hopefully in a few days I'll be able to go back to my normal cripple posts :)

Crippie's Tippie - Where are the good exotic vets? Check to find one in your area. If there are none, call around and see if anyone has experience with piggies.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Crippie Visits The Goats


Mama Pig says thanks for the ninja vibes, she's gonna go to the vet tomorrow and hopefully the doctors will be able to make her all better. Crippie is very worried about her. Everyone in the house is. We can't lose another pig... not now. Once the situation with Mama Pig is over I'll discuss what's wrong with her but I am petrified of jinxing something.

In the meantime, while Mama Pig was snoozing my dad and I took a trip to the shelter to see the boys. He loves piggies as much as I do. Crippie trimmed Andrew and Charlie's nails. I was expecting a huge battle but it went surprisingly well. Charlie tried to shoot poop at me... but that's really not terrible. I was also better able to gauge their health... both Charlie and Andrew look very healthy. Andrew is also getting used to being held, he didn't cry as much and he let my dad hold him for a few minutes... SO ADORABLE.

While we were there Crippie managed to find the goats! As soon as they saw us they starting being total hams. One was like "I'M ON A ROCK... LOOK AT ME!", another was like "I'M ADORABLE... LOOK AT ME!" Here are some pics to prove my point...

Crippie's Tippie - Looking for a pet... GO TO YOUR LOCAL SHELTER

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Piggie Post: Sick Piggies


SO MANY PIGGIE POSTS... my goodness. Honestly, most of it is because I am focusing on piggies rather than my doctor's appointment Thursday. 

Anyway, I apologize for not posting yesterday. Ya see, Crippie went out to see a show (I'll discuss it in a future post when I'm in a better frame of mind) when I returned home I noticed blood in the trio's cage. Upon examination I discovered that it was from Mama Pig. I don't want to go into too much detail or ask well wishes or anything because I really don't want to jinx anything. Crippie will say that Mama Pig is being treated and monitored and will probably be making a trip to the vet either tomorrow or Monday. I'm not gonna say "Mama Pig will be fine" because a) I can't guarantee that and b) last time I said that Emma died. 

I think it's pretty safe to say that Crippie is freaking out. I can't lose Mama Pig now. I'm still trying to cope with Emma's death. With all the medical crap going on right now I need my pigs to help me get through it. Crippie is going to do anything and everything in her power to keep Mama Pig alive. 

As my mini-freak out suggests, when piggies get sick it can be very serious. If you notice that your pig is acting weird or if something is clearly wrong... here's a list of what to do.

1) Pigs live for eating, pooping, and peeing... if your pig isn't doing those things get them to a vet ASAP
2) If your pig is not in "immediate" danger, get your ass on the internet to look up what could be wrong with them. My old standby is They have tons of medical info and tbey make it relatively easy to get a vague diagnoses. I would discuss what I found with Mama Pig but again... don't wanna jinx it
3) Guinea Pigs simply do not get better on their own, whether it is homeopathic medicine or a trip to the vet, you have to do something.
4) For minor guinea pig ailments homeopathic methods could work. For example, Nellie and Frida are prone to minor UTIs I give them an herbal supplement called Shilingtong
5) Pigs can take a turn for the worst verrrrrryyyyyyy quickly, Emma showed improvement for weeks before suddenly dying. 

The average guinea pig life span is 5-8 years, if you take care of your pigs and get them help when they need it hopefully they will live a long and healthy life. Mama Pig is probably 4.5 years old, God I hope she makes it to 5. 

Crippie's Tippie - Take care of your pigs, they deserve it

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Piggie Post: Andrew & Charlie

Ohai Everybody!

I hope all my readers had a terrific Thursday. Crippie certainly did. Crippie went to the animal shelter and officially signed up to be a volunteer! After I signed a waiver saying that I won't sue if one of these little buggers bites me I went to see the piggies! I got to spend some more time with them today so I really got to see their personalities. I hate how people think that piggies are just lazy potatoes that eat all day. Guinea pigs are LOADED with personality. All of my pigs have distinct and different personalities and the piggies at the shelter are no exception. Tonight Crippie is gonna tell y'all a little more about these two lovely boys in hope that someone will adopt them.

Charlie is a 3 year old Silke(Sheltie)/American Shorthair mix. He is without a doubt the dominant pig. He is an attention whore, when I was giving his buddie scritches he came over and starting eating my jacket! He loves rubs and he enjoys being held, mainly because he loves anything that involves attention in general. He is very smart, he responds to his name and HE KNOWS HOW TO USE A LITTER BOX! THAT IS HUUUGGEEE. Most guinea pigs see the world as their toilet! Charlie is super docile although he will occasionally take a nip at your neck, but that's just him being affectionate. He's super energetic and inquisitive. If you were to adopt Charlie, all you'd have to do is give him some delicious noms and he'll love your for the rest of your life. 
From what Crippie can tell Charlie is in good health. He is slightly underweight but this whole transition from being in a home to being in a shelter would frighten anyone. 

Andrew is a three year old crested. He is very shy and very much recessive. He is such a little sweetheart. He'll gladly let you pet him, especially if you massage his crest. Honestly, I think Andrew is having a hard time adjusting to his new surroundings. He isn't a very happy camper at the moment. When Crippie went to pick him up he started screaming and crying. He cried on my shoulder for a good five minutes before he realized that I give good chin rubs. It took my an additional ten minutes to get him comfortable enough for me to take a picture of him. Andrew is also very bright, he has also learned that litter boxes are for wees and poops (seriously, whoever adopts these two will be so lucky). Andrew has the potential to be a VERY loud wheeker. Even though he is scared he is still super docile, he never tried to bite me. If you were to adopt Andrew it would take a couple of days, oodles of cuddles, and some terrific noms and he will turn into a terrific companion.
Crippie couldn't examine Andrew quite as thoroughly because he was so scared, but from what I can tell he is healthy. He's close to average weight, good coat, spark in the eyes, hands and feetsies look good. 

I cannot stress it enough how lucky their potential owners will be, litter box trained piggies are rare, and they will make cage cleanings sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much easier. Crippie cannot tell you how much she wishes her piggies could use litter boxes, they just used them as beds -_-

Crippie is gonna go back to the shelter sometime over the weekend to trim their nails... they are in desperate need of a trimming. Something tells me it's gonna be a challenge. 

Crippie's Tippie - ADOPT ANDREW AND CHARLIE... their petfinder profiles can be found HERE

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Crippie Is A Busy Bee


Helen is beyond thrilled with all of her online admirers. Her giant head has already tripled in size! For those of you who are wondering, Helen is a Shih Tzu. The best part about small dogs is that you can reenact the opening sequence to The Lion King. It's not uncommon to see someone in my house going "MMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAA SSSSSAAAAAAAA WHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" while holding Helen up in the air. She seems to enjoy it.

Crippie had a very busy day today. I worked for 8 hours, came home, had dinner, and then babysat for an additional hour and a half. While many people would find a day like that hectic or annoying, Crippie rather enjoys them. I like keeping busy, it feels like that's what I should be doing. Tomorrow is my day off from work. I could've spent it at home on the computer but I'm not going to do that. Crippie is going to visit the piggies in the shelter again and if possible sign up to be a piggie volunteer. I would sign up to be a volunteer in general, but I can't take exactly take care of the dogs or cats (can't reach down to clean them up). The best part about tomorrow... Crippie has learned that there are GOATS at the animal shelter. Yes, goats, 5 goats to be exact. Crippie finds goats extremely entertaining and I want to meet them.

I feel like I am slowly but surely working on my New Year's Resolution of "finding a life and getting the hell out of my house". Even though volunteering at the shelter isn't the most "social" activity in the world it's an important activity nonetheless, and hey... gotta start somewhere.

And if y'all are wondering... I'm gonna keep posting about those guinea pigs until they find happy homes.

Crippie's Tippie - If you are in the market for a goat, check out the Warwick Valley Humane Society

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Five People You Meet At Dinner


Thanks for all the supportive comments y'all... Crippie can not even begin to tell you how much I appreciate them. From what I'm hearing neurontin is a helluva drug. Crippie is on a two week trial of it to see if it works, if I have a rough time I'll stop taking it. Although I am seeing an upside to the tiredness... if I time my medications right I get sleepy at a decent hour. Maybe my sleep schedule will improve!

Moving on, Crippie found a nifty HAWMC blog prompt. 5 Dinner Guests. Who are 5 people you’d love to have dinner with (living or deceased) and why? Okay, Crippie thought long and hard about this... figured I'd make a "Kick-Ass Cripple Table"

1 - Frida Kahlo - She is my all time favorite artist and she was a kick-ass cripple. FUN FACT: when she had her leg amputated she wore jingle bells around the fake leg to draw attention to it! Also, I think my Frida might enjoy meeting the person who inspired her name.
2 - Helen Keller & Anne Sullivan (I know they're two people, but Anne would need to translate for Helen) - Helen Keller has always inspired me, she was able to do some much in spite of what most would consider extremely limiting disabilities. Also, our Helen would probably enjoy meeting the person who inspired her name. 
3 - Stephen Hawking - Stephen Hawking kicks ass on so many levels. I find his theories about space fascinating. Crippie can't forget the fact that this dude has been living with ALS for DECADES, if that doesn't make you awesome I don't know what does.
4 - King Tut - I would love to have a cane battle with King Tut (he walked with a cane because of serious leg problems)
5 - Michael J. Fox - He's probably one of my biggest inspirations when it comes to staying positive and optimistic. I would seriously love to actually talk to him.

I think that will make for a splendid cripple-filled dinner don't you? What other cripples would you add to this list?

Oh, and as promised, here are pictures of me and Helen to make up for yesterday's post. Helen thought I was a pillow, luckily photobooth was there to capture the hilarity!

Hmm... Auntie Crippie isn't very comfy. I NEED A PLACE TO SLEEP!

This is kinda comfy... but I can do better


Crippie's Tippie - Be verrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy careful when taking several heavy duty medications, bad things can happen if you don't follow instructions or time them properly.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Side Effects


I hope everyone had a good Monday. Crippie's Monday was alright, but the weather has definitely been kicking Crippie's ass. It was around 80 degrees last week and now it's 50 degrees WTF! MOTHER NATURE HATES CRIPPLES! Crippie just wants to grab a bunch of aerosol cans and spray them in air while screaming "EFF YOU MOTHER NATURE!!!".

On the bright side my hip isn't bothering me as much now since I started taking my neurontin. I have been having some minor side effects though... depending on the time I take the neurontin I get very tired and heavy headed. I took my medicine a little later tonight so right now Crippie is very heavy headed, not a pleasant feeling. On the bright side, the tiredness could help regulate my sleep schedule. 

It's weird... only parts of Crippie feel tired. I'm conscious enough to write a blog while chatting with friends (multi-tasking baby!). Yet my eyes feel super heavy and the back of my head feels heavy... I dunno... kinda hard to explain. At least I'm not trippin' or anything, Crippie is perfectly lucid... OMG LOOK AT THE UNICORN, IT'S SO SHINYYYYYYY ;). 

Yeaaaaaaah, I think I'm gonna go to sleep. Sorry for the short post y'all. I'll take some cute pictures of animals and show them to you tomorrow. Let's hope that the side effects of the neurontin wear off after a few days.

Crippie's Tippie - Don't blog when you're really tired, it won't turn out well

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Piggie Post: Obtaining Pigs


Two "Piggie Posts" in a row... WHAT IS THIS MADNESS! Crippie had a very busy day. Apart from seeing an adorable production of "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" Crippie had to go to the pet store to obtain dog food and guinea pig treats, and while we were in the area we bought an extra bag of piggie treats and brought them to our local animal shelter. Going to the two main places to obtain a guinea pig in the same day really highlights the differences between the two.

First off, all of my piggies came from the pet store. Crippie was not a very educated customer at the time.

If you are serious about obtaining a pig, AVOID PET STORES. Why?

1) Depending on where you live there are tooooooooooooooons of guinea pigs in shelters.

2) Pet store guinea pigs are not properly taken care of... for example a few months ago Crippie saw some guinea pigs at her local mom and pop pet store. There were two adults and two babies. I held one of the adults and saw that she was a female (I know how to check the genders of guinea pigs) then I held the other adult and much to my horror it was a boy. That is reallllllllyyyyyyyyy bad. I soon as I saw that I knew that the adult female (who has to be under a year old) was pregnant again. The problem with that is that guinea pigs have a high mortality rate when it comes to childbirth, for both the mom and the babies. I asked the owner of the store why a boar was being housed with a sow and he promptly removed the male. I returned today to find this same female but with four new babies. Thankfully she seems to be alright, but that poor girl had 6 babies within a few months :(

3) Pet store pigs have a higher chance of not being healthy. On average guinea pigs live for 6 years. My Emma was 3 when she died and Frida has tumors. Part of me wonders if this is because of careless inbreeding. Nellie, Emma, and Frida were born in the pet store. Me thinks Mama Pig was accidentally placed with a male, possibly one she was related to. Pet store living conditions have been known to cause Upper Respiratory Infections which can kill pigs.

Crippie is not completely against store pigs, so if you do obtain a store pig limit the amount of money the store gets from the pig. Pigs are relatively cheap. It's their cages, bedding, hay, and food that are expensive. DO NOT BUY A PET STORE CAGE, they are too small. Buy a C&C cage beforehand and have it ready for your pig. Buy your hay and food online (it's ultimately cheaper too) and you can probably find tons of great guinea pig toys online. Have everything ready so you only buy the pigs at the store... nothing else.

Breeders are an option as well for obtaining pigs, but I seriously don't recommend them. Mainly because of the high mortality rate for the pigs and the fact that inbred piggies have issues. If you want a certain breed, check petfinder and craigslist daily... one will pop up sooner or later.

Crippie went to the shelter today to deliver the treats and naturally I had to give them to the piggies myself. There are two boars at the local shelter, a crested and a silke-shorthair mix (two uncommon breeds right there... hint hint people who want to obtain one from a breeder). If Crippie had the resources to take care of them she would have scooped them up.

Even though Crippie can't adopt them I want to make sure that they go to good home. These guys are a bonded pair and need to be adopted together. The top one is an attention whore. As soon as I walked into the room he was like 'LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE". The one on the bottom is very shy, mainly because their prior owners did not take care of them properly. But Crippie thinks that within a week or two of cuddles and treats he'll be fine. If you click on their pictures you can see their petfinder profiles.

Crippie actually decided to volunteer at the animal shelter to help take care of the piggies. These boys are in desperate need of cuddles. 

Crippie's Tippie - Piggies are not low maintenance animals, and if you really want a pig... ADOPT!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Piggie Post: Outside Time


Crippie is taking a break from posting about how much my hip hurts to focus on PIGGIES!!! The weather was in my favor this afternoon so I figured it would be a good day to give Aggie a little sunlight. Since the weather was sooooooooo awesome Crippie and her sister opted to bring Maggie, Aggie, and a playpen outside so they could be "free range piggies".

First and foremost... PICTURES!

Munch munch munch munch munch

Helen being a "guard dog", and Maggie and Aggie are still eating grass

Maggie doesn't know what to make of this "outside" business

Maggie saying "What the hell is this?" and Aggie still nomming on grass

Maggie wondering where she is, and Aggie still eating grass

 They spent about 20 minutes outside and I swear to God Aggie spent 19 minutes and 30 seconds eating grass. SHE LOVED IT. Maggie on the other hand was like "where the hell am I?"

If any of you were wondering why Aggie looks s'darn white it's because she is a satin pig. She was probably bred to have a more lustrous coat. Cute, right? Nope... satins have greater chance to develop osteoporosis. As Crippie has mentioned before, I'm giving her some natural vitamin D in hopes to prevent it. Also, the shiny coat made it damn near impossible for Crippie to photograph her.

As awesome as outside time is, it's not something to be taken lightly... here are some tippies for successful outside time.

1- Know your grass - We took the pigs out on our lawn. Do NOT put pigs on grass treated with pesticides. The main concern Crippie had about her lawn was that deer are frequent visitors, and deer leave "presents" and ticks. Crippie picked a spot for the pigs where other animals don't like to hang out. It happened to be right by her driveway.

2- Watch them like a hawk - NEVER take your eyes off your pigs. There are a lot of hawks and other birds of prey by Crippie who could easily snatch them up. You need to stand guard and make sure nothing hurts them.

3- Make sure the weather is good - Piggies are very demanding when it comes to temperature... if its too hot your pig will have a heat stroke and die, if its too cold your pig will get sick and die. The 65-80 degree range (give or take) generally makes for a happy piggie. Also, if your pig is a skinny I would probably keep the pig in the shade.

4- Clean Up - When you're finished don't forget to check for any bugs or anything that might be stuck to them. Since we have deer Crippie checked each pig for tics before putting them back into their cage.

So there ya have it folks, hope your piggies enjoy the warm weather while it lasts!

Crippie's Tippie - Playpens for small dogs work wonders for piggies

P.S. We had some severe thunderstorms tonight, hopefully that explains some of my pain

Friday, April 20, 2012

Blame Sciaticaaaaaaa

Whoa Man,

Did all of my totally far out readers have a groovy 4/20? In all seriousness though, Yom HaShoah or Holocaust Remembrance Day was this week. Before Crippie actually starts her post I wanted to post some songs for Holocaust Remembrance Day...

Moving on to cripple stuff, Crippie's first night with neurontin went relatively well. Most of the aching in my hips went away! The only side effect thus far is that is makes me sorta tired. Crippie can also feel when the medicine kicks in and when it wears off... I'm not sure but I don't think that's good (me thinks it means that I am in a lot pain without it). I was able to get through work with minimal pain, but by the time I got home the meds wore off, so I took them again in the late evening. The meds plus work made me super tired so I slept till dinner. After dinner I played with the pets for a while and then I got tired again. These hip problems are just sucking the energy out of me, it seems like I can hardly do anything right now, and whatever is causing the discomfort sitting makes it hard to sit in certain places in my house. It's getting rather frustrating. Oh well, Crippie has an appointment for the orthopedist on May 3rd. On the bright side, I made it for a year and half without having to see him. I think that's a personal best.

Crippie is trying to get used to this whole "having sciatica" thing... Crippie is wondering if any of her wonderful readers have sciatica and what do y'all do for it? Any tippies for me? If you don't want to leave a comment a private message would be lovely.

On a completely random nerd note... Crippie plays Pottermore (SLYTHERIN BABY) if anyone wants to add me I'm JinxHazel23969

Crippie's Tippie - When times get a little tough, remember that it will pass. It might take a while but it will pass nonetheless 

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Damnit Fanny


Thanks for your support guys, the ninja vibes totally help!

Crippie had her pain management appointment today, and I honestly didn't know what my doctor would say or do. Crippie specifically told the doctor that my current course of treatment helps most of my pain except for my hip. I showed her my x-rays and she examined my hips, legs, and Fanny. The doctor's verdict iiiiiissssssssssssssssssss...
1) Fanny is pressing on my sciatic nerve.
2) Tumors in my hips are making the muscles in my legs contract, Crippie cannot straighten her leg
The Remedy - Neurontin for the nerve problems and stretches for the muscle problems

Crippie was totally not expecting those diagnoses, but they make a lot of sense. At first Crippie didn't believe the first diagnoses of sciatic nerve issues because my prior experience with nerve pain was a little different to say the least. I'm used to RSD to nerve pain... which is probably the worst pain I'll ever experience. The pain in my hips is more of a dull ache. It turns out the sciatic nerve pain can be a dull ache... who knew! Crippie was also very surprised about the whole muscle thing. I guess I never noticed that my leg doesn't straighten or that my muscles are tight. If anyone is wondering how I couldn't notice that... it's my normal. I'm used to it. I don't know what normal functioning legs feel like.

Crippie is so thankful that my doctor actually gives a crap about my quality of life. She is verrrrrryyyyy cautious about my meds because she knows I'm gonna be on them for the rest of my life. She cares about the quality of my future life, this muscle thing could turn into a huge problem in 10-20 years. Yet she realizes that I am in pain now and that I have to be treated now. It's unfortunate that I don't hear about doctors like her often.

BTW, if anyone was wondering how Crippie deals with news like this... Crippie is usually happy to get explanations and answers, even if it is potentially bad news. Today's appointment pretty much confirmed that my disease is progressing and that I am getting worse. I accepted the fact that my condition would progress long ago, so now I try to focus on what Crippie can do about it. Crippie is going to schedule an appointment with her orthopedist within the next few weeks and we'll take it from there.

Crippie's Tippie for Doctors - CARE ABOUT YOUR PATIENTS!!!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Pain, Pain Go Away


Yeaaaaaaaah, as the title suggests Crippie has been in a fair amount of pain over the past few days. Me thinks the weather is changing or something because Fanny the Ass Tumor, something on the back of my pelvis, and my hip socket and been acting up all at once. Crippie's flare up is so bad that her pain management appointment got bumped up to tomorrow. I'm probably looking at a med change. After that Crippie will monitor her pain levels and if they continue to suck... then it's off to the orthopedist I go.

In the meantime Crippie is using NPH for the back of my hip and my inner hip and Capsaicin for my outer side and front of my hip. WARNING: DO NOT PUT A HEAT PACK ON AN AREA THAT HAS CAPSAICIN ON IT. Capsaicin is one of those things you have to be super cautious about. When misused it causes a whole lotta discomfort. The mix of the two treatments has made my pain levels bearable so at least I'll be able to sleep tonight. 

Part of me thinks that all of this pain is due to an arthritis flare up, simply because it came on so suddenly. Usually my MHE problems takes months if not years to develop. Maybe it's just Crippie being in denial and not wanting to think about hip surgery, but I don't think my tumors could grow to this extent in a matter of a days. Crippie really hopes this is just an arthritis flare up.

Anyway, I'll definitely let y'all know how tomorrow goes. Crippie will be bringing her hip x-rays to the doctor tomorrow so she can clearly see what's going on. Wish me luck everybody :)

To make up for the short post today, here's a pic of Nellie and Frida sleeping

Crippie's Tippie - Capsaicin works, but you have to be reaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyy careful with it

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Facts of Life


Crippie literally just spent a good 10 minutes reminiscing about the days when she would watch "The Facts of Life" on Nick at Nite. I was always partial to Jo and I never cared for Blair... and can Crippie get an amen for a young George Clooney <3
Crippie is reliving her old Nick at Nite watching days because the HAWMC blog prompt told her to... sorta. Today's prompt is... Learned the Hard Way. What’s a lesson you learned the hard way? Write about it for 15 today. Once I got the prompt I started singing The Facts of Life theme song (which I remember in it's entirety) and it just went downhill from there ;)
Okies, *starts clock* Crippie learned long, long ago that one must always listen to and respect their elders. Random lesson but a true one. How did Crippie learn this little nugget of wisdom? Well, after my first surgery I acquired a fair amount of painful nerve damage. My doctor made me go to physical therapy. At first Crippie did not listen to her therapists and refused to move her leg because it hurt like a mofo. Those who have experience with not moving a limb for a while know that if you don't use it you lose it, and that's what happened to me. I had muscle atrophy because I refused to listen to my therapists. Eventually my therapists told me to cut the crap and do my damn exercises or else I'd never walk again. Crippie was a good girl and did her exercises after that awakening. After I started to see progress I realized I should probably just shut up and trust that the experts know what they are doing. Crippie learned that if you don't do what smarter people tell you to do... you will suffer the consequences. 
Since Crippie was 10 when she learned this valuable lesson she's been able to put it to practice for over a dozen years and I've definitely seen good results compared to other people. Crippie rarely, if ever, had arguments with her parents... because I know that even if I disagree with something that they always have my best interests in mind. So while must teenagers are like "ommmgggg my mom won't let me have a car, I hate her" Crippie was like "my mom wants me to have a lot of road experience before I get a car because she doesn't want me to die". While most teenagers and college students hate their teachers with a passion, Crippie always listened to them and tried to learn as much as she could from them. Even if I didn't care for some of their personalities I acknowledged that they know more than I do and ultimately they are right. Most of Crippie's teachers were impressed with my ability to behave and follow rules. At work I trust that my superiors know what they are doing and I follow their instructions. I'm actually building a solid reputation as the "good" designer at work!
There are people who think this trait is weakness, but those who do not listen to their superiors will only have to learn more things the hard way.

Crippie's Tippie to Teenagers - Chances are your parents are not idiots. Please tell me how your 13 years on the planet have taught you more than your parents 40 some odd years? They love you and are looking out for your best interests.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Crippie The Pinterest Addict

Ello Everybody!

I hope everyone had a marvelous Monday. Mine was spent at work at and the pets, nothing terribly eventful. I don't know about you guys, but it is REALLY hot by Crippie, it's getting to a point where I overheat if I use my heat pack for more than 5 minutes. I never thought I'd say this but... NPH is too hot sometimes... NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Tomorrow I'll set up a fan to cool myself off, but I'm gonna have to make do without NPH for the night.
Anyways, Crippie is gonna follow a HAWMC blog prompt tonight. Pinboard. Create a pinterest board for your health focus. Pin 3 things. What did you pin? Share the images in a post and explain why you chose them. Crippie already has an awesome cripple related Pinterest board, so I'll just share some of my recent favorite pins.

I love this image because it so damn true. Crippie and a few of her cripple friends were discussing this yesterday. Normals look at stairs and just see "stairs" we see them as a lot of pain, effort, and energy. People don't understand the importance of handicap accessible buildings. Crippie is in the process of reminding some people at her office that having the only ramp to the building chained off is not a safe idea. *sigh* normals...

This brilliant info graphic shows statistics about disability in the USA. Crippie lurvs her some statistics presented in a graphically appealing format!

Crippie loves this for two reasons... 1) it's a really well executed tattoo and 2) THIS PERSON HAS AN AWESOME SENSE OF HUMOR. I give this guy props for noticing that his nub looked like a dolphin and then for taking it one step further and getting it tattooed on him! SO MUCH WIN!

Crippie's Tippie - Time killer... Pinterest is thy name! 

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Crippie The Theatre Nerd


First off... CRIPPIE MISSED THE LAST THE DAY OF PASSOVER...  I'M SORRRYYYYYY. Crippie's lack of sleep usually catches up with her on Saturdays. This was literally Crippie's thought process yesterday "Must... blog... last day of passover... must post... more Prince of Egypt songs..." and then I passed out for the night. Fun fact: Crippie dreamed that she posted the last Prince of Egypt song and then a bunch of lawyers came to my door and told me to stop posting Prince of Egypt songs. I told them "BUT IT'S PASSOVER!" and since they were all Jews they let me go with a warning. I guess I'm kinda a racist in my dreams ;)
Moving on, Crippie had a super awesome fun day. My mom and sister were performing in a fundraiser for a local theatre company. Apart from the general awesomeness of seeing them sing Crippie also got to see some Broadway and Off-Broadway actors sing! I even got to talk to some of them! My family entire family had a very pleasant conversation with someone who played Javert in "Les Miserables". I took some videos and photos but I don't think I can legally share them with you guys :(
Crippie absolutely loves days like this because, well, Crippie loves the theatre. It's probably because damn near everyone in Crippie's family is a broadway dork, from my Grandma who took classes with Lehmen Engel all the way to my 13-year-old cousin who has memorized the soundtrack "The Book of Mormon". It really is a shame that Crippie has zero talent when it comes to the stage. Don't believe me? Well, I'll make you all a deal... once I reach 50 followers on Google Friend Connect I will post a video of me singing show tunes with a guinea pig. Deal? *Shakes on it*

 In the meantime, here's a quick little survey of Crippie's Favorite Broadway things...
Favorite Show - Assassins (I just love the general idea of "LET'S MAKE A MUSICAL ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO SHOOT PRESIDENTS!")
Least Favorite Show - Carousel ("That was a really nice clam bake" REALLY!?!?!)
Favorite Composer/Lyricist - Stephen Sondheim
Least Favorite Composer/Lyricist - Andrew Lloyd Weber (the only good thing he did was Evita)
Favorite Broadway Actor - NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, and Mandy Patinkin
Favorite Broadway Actress - Bernadette Peters and Angela Lansbury
Favorite Broadway Song - waaaaaaayyyy to many to chose but I love "Edelweiss" from "The Sound of Music"
Favorite Broadway Show That Was Turned Into A Movie - The movie/musical version of "Hairspray" was fabulous, it cut out all the unnecessary camp
Least Favorite Show That Was Turned Into A Movie - Mamma Mia... nuff said
Favorite Movie Turned Into A Show - Once (probably because I kinda know one of the kid's in the show)
Least Favorite Movie Turned Into A Show - Sister Act (I LOVE SISTER ACT II... DON'T RUIN THIS STUFF FOR ME)
Favorite Tony Host - Neil Patrick Harris

Crippie's Tippie - Support "Just Off Broadway", they're a brilliant theatre troop! 

Friday, April 13, 2012

10 Awesome Things

The Plagues by Hans Zimmer on Grooveshark

Yup, another "The Prince of Egypt" song. This one is about the 10 Plagues. It actually makes for a decent segue to today's HAWMC blog prompt! 10 Things I Couldn’t Live Without. Write a list of the 10 things you need (or love) most. Alrighty, here goes nothin...

1) My Family
- I think this one is pretty obvious, my family is my rock and I love them very much.

2) My Pets
- My pets help me stay sane, they love me regardless of what I can or cannot do. Also, they're freakin' adorable.

3) My Friends
- It's pretty safe to say that my friends are awesome and they support me when things get difficult.

4) My Job
- My job gives me a reason to get out of the house, interact with people, discuss zombies, design things, and makes some money. What's not to love! 

5) My computer
- At times it seems like my entire world is on my computer, especially when it's hard for me to move or to do anything

6) This blog
- Crippie enjoys sharing parts of her life with y'all, the piggies also enjoy the "fame"

7) NPH
- Well, NPH is the greatest actor of all time, but I also mean my heat pack. It's helped my pain levels dramatically.

8) My imagination
- There are times when certain aspects of my life flat out suck, when this happens I use my imagination to take me somewhere else. I don't know what I would be like if I couldn't do that.

9) Graphic design in general
- Looking at pretty things makes me happy. 

10) Funny pictures on the internet
- Sometimes a meme or a kitteh is all that is needed to brighten my days

YAY, Crippie successfully completed the list without coming up with stupid answers!!!!

Crippie's Tippie - Making lists like this help remind you of all the awesome things in your life

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Sit On It!


Go Down Moses by Bob Dylan on Grooveshark

Yay, Crippie has finally added some Bob Dylan to the Jew song of the Day! "Go Down Moses" is literally the story of Moses. How could I not add it to my lil' Passover mix, even if it is a Gospel song.
Thanks for all the well wishes and support from yesterday's post. Clearly I wasn't a very happy camper. Crippie's gotten the initial anger and I've pretty much accepted it. Crippie had a day off from work today so I went out to obtain a seat cushion. I sat on a memory foam pillow while I was driving, it helped but I could still feel the damn tumor. I went to my local CVS, I was optimistic that they would have something to help me out. Sure enough, they did.
Crippie went to the "As Seen On TV" section. Amongst the useless crap and pajama jeans I found a "Total Pillow" which is supposed to be a bunch of different pillows rolled into one. I saw that it also functioned as a seat cushion so I decided to give it a go. I used it during the drive home and I was pleasantly surprised. It was comfy and I didn't feel like I was sitting on a rock.

Since this is a "As Seen On TV" product I feel that I am morally obliged to give a full out review of it, cause let's face it, most of these products suck sooooooooooooooooo much. I spent the day fiddling around with my new "Total Pillow" because I had nothing better to do. Shockingly the product does damn near everything it promises. It's moldable, and it usually holds it's shape. It's got those fun squishy beads in it so it's comfy, firm... but comfy. Crippie checked all the seams, it appears sturdy and I don't think it will burst anytime soon. Apart from it's versatility it's also small enough to be portable and not annoying. It'll probs fit in a big pocketbook. Honestly I really don't have anything bad to say about it, and this is coming from someone who HATES "As Seen On TV" products. Crippie finds most of them stupidly annoying.

Crippie's Tippie - If you need special pillows for some reason, Total Pillow is actually a good option

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Disability Can Be A Pain In The Ass Sometimes


Through Heavens Eyes by Brian Stokes Mitchell on Grooveshark

Another day, another "The Prince Of Egypt" song. "Through Heaven's Eyes" is probably my favorite song from the movie. It's one of those songs that really helps you focus on the positives and realize that your life probably doesn't suck.
Boy howdy, did Crippie need a song like that today. Today was a very bad day pain wise. I don't know if was the weather, Fanny the Ass Tumor, or some other tumor in my pelvic region but the simple act of sitting down was causing Crippie a lot of discomfort. Normally Crippie can sit on a slightly cushioned surface without a problem. Today it felt like I was constantly sitting on a giant rock. Naturally, today would be a day when I had to sit down for about 9 and a half hours at work. Crippie was not impressed by this new development. I've NEVER had issues with sitting before, one of the reasons I chose to become a graphic designer was that I knew that could sit for long periods of time. Of course I can't forget that technically this is making my bum hurt, so that's just embarrassing. Progression of disease sucks.
So, what am I going to do about this? Well, tomorrow I'm probs gonna go obtain some seat cushions, one for my car and one for work. I really don't want to do that because people will think I have a problem with my bum, oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do. Right now I'm literally sitting on NPH (I LOVE HOW THAT SOUNDS) hoping that the heat pack will help. Crippie really hopes this is just some temporary inflammation or something along those lines. If it continues to get worse... surgery number 11.
On the bright side, I was driving home from work, all pissed off because my ass was still uncomfortable in the car... and then I saw something. I saw a rainbow! Crippie got to follow said rainbow home, that has to be a good sign. Right?

To make up for the depressingness of most of this post... here's some guinea pigs
Maggie is puzzled by my camera

Frida wants food now! Look at those lips and teeth!

Holy crap Nellie is fat

Mama Pig snoozing

Aggie with a flower in hair

Crippie's Tippie - Be thankful for what you have while you have it, you never know what can be taken away from you

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Pain Wars!

Sup Everybody!

Tzena, Tzena, Tzena by Pete Seeger on Grooveshark

I hope all of my readers had a terrific Tuesday. Crippie's day went rather well, I had work and I took care of the pets... nothin' special. Let's move on to Crippie's Jew song of the day shall we. Today's song has absolutely nothing to do with Passover, but it's one of Crippie's favorite Jew songs. I love "Tzena, Tzena, Tzena" because a) the chorus is super easy to memorize b) Pete Seeger... nuff said.

Continuing on to actual cripple related stuff, Crippie had a very interesting conversation with her co-workers a few days ago. I'm not sure how it happened but somehow or another we got into a "Pain War" where everyone described the most pain that they've ever been in and we then decided who's was worst. Crippie's coworkers where telling tales of scratching their corneas and sinus surgery. Generally speaking I love winning competitions like this. It might seem weird, but if I'm gonna suffer I better win a damn contest for it. Crippie could've easily won this competition by saying "NERVE DAMAGE IN MY LEG. A YEAR'S WORTH OF PAIN. I WIN" but I didn't. Crippie lied and said that getting a tattoo on my ribcage was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. Why? Well, no one at work knows why I'm a cripple, and if I said that I'd kinda have to tell them why. Also my coworker's pains were very much temporary, and thus there is no real pity there. If Crippie said "oh yeah, I had nerve damage when I was ten. It was the worst pain I'll ever experience in my life and it lasted for about a year, although it still hurts from time to time" I'd probably depress the living hell out of my coworkers. Regardless of how I sugarcoat that story, my coworkers would feel sorry for me, and that simply will no do. The main reason Crippie lied was because my manager was competing in this competition... and you ALWAYS let your superiors win!

So what do you guys think? Was Crippie over-analyzing the situation? Was I right in thinking it's probably not a good idea to bring up traumatic childhood situations at work? If you were having a Pain Off at your office what would you say?


Monday, April 9, 2012

Everyone Remain Calm!


Deliver Us by Ofra Haza on Grooveshark

We've got a nifty design related prompt today! But first, the Jew song of the day. Today's song comes from one of Crippie's favorite animated movies ever, "The Prince Of Egypt". Seriously, Crippie loves this movie, apart from the whole "Jew" thing the animation is gorgeous and the music is fantastic. I'll probably be posting more songs from the movie as the week goes on so I figured I'd start with the opening number. It sets the story up brilliantly IMO.
Moving on to cripple business, today's HAWMC blog prompt is super nifty. Keep calm and carry on. Write (and create) your own Keep Calm and Carry On poster. Can you make it about your condition?
For those who don't know "Keep Calm and Carry On" posters were released in 1939 by the British government in an attempt to boost morale as WWII was starting. Over the past several years the posters have made a major comeback in the design and internet worlds. Now there are countless variations to the original poster. You can even go to a website like THIS and generate your own.
As for my poster, I didn't want to make it about my disorder in general. I don't think "Keep Calm and Tumor On" would be terribly entertaining or catchy for that matter, so instead I opted to make a poster for ALL THE CRIPPLES. VOILA!!!!

See, totally awesome and catchy! Fellow cripples, go forth and be awesomely crippled, and as always, keep calm.

Crippie's Tippie - Own your crippledness, people are less likely to treat you like a fragile little handicapped person if you are totally awesome and confident 

Sunday, April 8, 2012



Ani Ma'amin by Le Ma'an Elohim Chaim on Grooveshark

Crippie wishes all of her goyim readers a happy Easter. I hope y'all are enjoying your peeps and spending time with the people you care about.
Crippie had an awesome time with her family for the Seder. Good food. Good family. Good traditions. For a family of pretty agnostic Jews we have several Passover traditions. The most prominent tradition would have to be how we sing a LOT during the Seder. We sing "Dayenu" (Crippie doesn't speak Hebrew, but I've memorized a few prayers and songs), my grandma wrote a song about the "Four Questions" which everyone in the family has memorized, and the last song we sing is "Ani Ma'amin" which is essentially a Jewish version of "We Shall Overcome". The words to "Ani Ma'amin" are from a prayer, but it was put to music during the Holocaust. People sang it as they were being lead to their deaths in the gas chambers. We sing it on Passover not only to remember those lost in the Holocaust but also because the Warsaw Ghetto uprising began on the first night of Passover.

Even though Passover is a holiday with somber undertones, everyone managed to have a very good time. The animals made out like bandits. Angel and Helen got turkey and the piggies got parsley! Crippie was able to drink a small amount of manischewitz, I drank it really slowly and with a bunch of food so I didn't get tipsy, which was nice. I didn't take any NSAIDs last night to be on the safe side.

Crippie's Easter sunday was oddly productive. The weather today was beautiful so I took full advantage of that. Crippie had to take Aggie outside to get some sunshine. Aggie runs a risk of developing osteoporosis, so I'm pretreating her with the occasional dose of vitamin D. She enjoyed her time outside very much. Mainly because she could munch on dandelions (she only liked the stems, not the flower). Crippie was also able to walk to the location where Emma is buried so I visited her for a few minutes. Even though we are Jews, she has a giant cross marking where she is. It's literally 12 times bigger than she was.

Crippie also managed to straighten up her room a little bit... now that's a Passover Miracle!!!!

Crippie's Tippie - Matzoh can be oddly yummy. I know people think it tastes like cardboard but it really is good. Crippie loves egg matzoh with butter and salt. Chocolate covered matzoh is also pretty good.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Haikus For The Handicapped

Happy Passover Everybody!!!!!!!

Dayeinu by Jodi Sufrin and Matt Stern on Grooveshark

Crippie is going to follow a blog prompt tonight, but first I must get into my "Jew-ie" mode because tonight is the beginning of Passover. Even though Crippie and her family don't really observe Passover (we had pizza for dinner tonight and I will be working tomorrow) we still celebrate it by having a Seder with the family. This year's Seder is gonna be held at my house tomorrow with a buncha rambunctious Jews! In other words, tomorrow is gonna super exciting and tiring. Crippie might even consume a little bit of alcohol, so do forgive if I don't write a post tomorrow.
One way I'm gonna celebrate this year is by posting one awesome Passover related song per night. Tonight's song is the classic "Dayenu". It tells of the story of the Exodus from Egypt. I also find it very catchy. You can find the lyrics HERE.
Moving away from the Jew-ie goodness tonights HAWMC prompt looks fun. Health haiku. Write a haiku about your health focus. 5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables. Write as many as you like. Crippie hasn't written any good haikus since the fourth grade... here goes nothin'

Oh how I love thee
Handicap Parking Permit
Gets all the good spots

Tumor on my hip
You cause me much discomfort
Please go away now

The keloid rises
As big and red as the sun
Freaks out the normals

Watch for the wheelchair
for if you do not see it
it will run you down

The normal watches
The cripple limping along
Dude, we can see you

My cane is bad ass
About all things I am right
I am Dr. House

Heat packs are awesome
The pain leaves as it warms up
Just don't burn yourself

THAT WAS FUN! Now that I think about it, Crippie's teachers were always impressed with her mad haiku skills.

Crippie's Tippie - Have a happy and healthy Passover and Easter!!!! 

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Crippie Made Noodles!


OMG can you believe it, Cripple made noodles! Isn't it incredible! Now, there may be some people out there saying "It's not a big deal, calm the eff down" but this really is big deal for Crippie. Why is it a big deal? Because making cooking noodle related food items is really painful for Crippie. Tumors in my wrists and arms make lifting heavy like a pot of water painful. The act of pouring pasta into a drainer makes my arm hurt like a mofo. Crippie doesn't make a lot of noodle dishes because of this.
So why did Crippie make noodles today? Well, I was babysitting my neighbor and she wanted mac n' cheese for lunch. Crippie has been watching this neighbor for years, we're buddies in a sense... so I didn't want to say no to her. It was six cups of water and a small pan. It was tricky bringing the pot to the stove, it was uncomfortable standing there for 7 minutes, and it was really painful when I had to drain the noodles, but I did it. Making noodles might seem like such a simple task, but it's hard for me to do and Crippie is very proud of herself for being able to do it. I won't do it very often, but it's good to know that I can if it's absolutely necessary. 

In other news, Crippie might have figured out why my hip has been hurting. I have a feeling that a baseball sized tumor on the back of my pelvis is the culprit. I'll discuss it with my ortho the next time I see him, whenever that may be. In the meantime, since it is now one of my special tumors it has received a name. Baseball sized pelvis tumor is now "Fanny The Ass Tumor". Crippie will definitely keep y'all updated on Fanny The Ass Tumor as new details emerge.

Crippie's Tippie- Naming your tumors is an excellent way to freak people out

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Why I Do What I Do


I hope everyone is having a lovely week thus far. Crippie has been very busy with work. I also somehow managed to wrench my shoulder today. One of the many fun parts of MHE is that you don't need to really do anything to injure yourself, apparently the slightest movement can potentially cause a whole lot of discomfort. Oh well, NPH has been helping it feel better.

Moving on, Crippie is going to use another prompt today! Today's topic is... I write about my health because... Reflect on why you write about your health for 15-20 minutes without stopping.

Well let's see... back when Crippie was forced to create this blog for a social media class my professor told us to blog about something that we "could be experts in". As soon as I heard that I knew I wanted to blog about health and disability. Why? Because I have over 20 years of experience living with it. I've spent my entire life adapting and coping with a disability. Thus, I am an expert on cripples. Also, Crippie also has a very broad general knowledge of all things medical (absorbed a lotta information watching House and the Discovery Health Channel). Apart from the fact that I know what I'm talking about (I'm so modest) I also wanted to blog about being a cripple to help other cripples. That's probably the main reason I do this, because I feel like if this blog helps someone else cope with a disability then my pain is worth it. 

That's it, nothing terribly philosophical or anything. I blog about being a cripple because a) I can and b) I want to help others in similar situations. I don't think y'all would want hear Crippie blabber on for 15-20 minutes about that.

Crippie's Tippie - Wanna sharpen your knowledge about oodles of random disease for some off reason? Watch "Mystery Diagnoses". Sooner or later you'll guess what the patient has before they do. Crippie has literally yelled "YOUR KID HAS MARFAN SYNDROME" at the TV on more than one occasion. 

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Crippie To The Rescue!!!!!!!!!!!


Alright, day two of the post-a-thon. Today I'm actually gonna use a "Health Activists Writer's Month Challenge" prompt. Today's prompt is...  Superpower Day. If you had a superpower – what would it be? How would you use it?

Crippie thought this prompt was nifty so she thought long and hard about it. I came up with three super powers that would be freakin' awesome to have. Naturally Crippie realllllyyyy over thought the whole thing and weighed the pros and cons of each of my favorite powers.
- It's economical, and environmentally friendly
- I could be independent
- I could go anywhere I wanted without anxiety
- Weather would still be a bitch, no flying during storms
- Crippie is not exactly graceful, so I stand a good chance of whacking into a tree or plane
- If it involved actual arm flapping I'd be screwed

- You can be like Harry Potter
- You can troll people
- You can go to places like Disneyland for free
- Airport security would be so much easier 
- Knowing me, I'd use this power for evil instead of good
- People would bump in to you
- Unless your clothes possess special powers as well, you'd need to be nekkid for this to work

- Massive improvement on the quality of life of everyone
- No more cripples
- Kinda solves the healthcare situation
- No more cripples
- If I was the sole person with this ability, literally everyone in the world would need my assistance, and I simply wouldn't be able to do that (or would I... DA DA DUM) so I'd have to live with the guilt that I'm playing god and that some person somewhere just died because I couldn't help them.
- I'd probably get a massive god complex and turn into a total asshole

X-Ray Vision - I just think it would be funny, "why does my leg hurt *looks* oh... ok"
Mind Control - Also would be fun to warp the minds of people I don't care for
Speaks to animals - So me and Frida could have deep conversations about life 

I just realized that being a witch would pretty much encompass these powers into one nifty package. Hogwarts is still sending out their letters, right?

Crippie's Tippie - if you want to partake in HAWMC, go HERE

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