Wednesday, November 30, 2011


*Gives virtual cookies and skittles out*

It's November 30th and you know what that means... NATIONAL HEALTH BLOG POST MONTH IS OVER! DONE! The final prompt is... Play that horn. Want to hear a secret? You’re awesome. (It’s actually not even really a secret.) This is going to be hard for you, O Modest One, but you gotta give yourself props today. Write three things you love about yourself – things you’re great at – or just want to share. Don’t you dare signpost or undercut those self-compliments!

Anyone who actually knows me knows that I'm not terribly modest... if I do something awesome I let people know. So... I COMPLETED THE 30 CHALLENGE, YAY ME! Granted a missed the first day but I was allowed a post skip day. 
Now, about that actual list of things Crippie is awesome at... 
-Crippie is very, very good at rises to challenges. Senior thesis in 4 months instead of 8, DONE. Perfect attendance in high school and college, CHECK. Graduate Magna Cum Laude, CHALLENGE COMPLETED. 30 blog posts in 30 days, FREAKIN' DONE!!!!
-Crippie is an awesome graphic designer. Hey, I spent like, 30 seconds kerning that little "BOO YA" thing above (kerning is adjusting the space between the letters FYI).
-Crippie is apparently an animal whisperer. I dunno, I feel like I "know" what my guinea pigs and puppies want/think and I speak for them often. (Helen is sitting next to me BTW, she says "I AM TRYING TO SLEEP... STOP ASKING ME WHAT I WANT TO TELL YOUR READERS!").

I could go on but alas, the prompt said three things ;) 

OMG... I just noticed this is my 100th post! Kinda fitting ain't it? 

Crippie's Tippie- I've said it before and I'll say it again, celebrate all the victories in your life. I might be tired and in a fair amount of pain... BUT I COMPLETED THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE!!!!! BOOM!

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

NHBPM- You're Such A Card


ONE MORE NHBPM POST TO GO... w00000000000000000000000t. Today's prompt is super special, I hope you all enjoy it. Greeting card post! The greeting card industry is all about writing generally universal feelings in a presentable way that you can use to express yourself when you just can’t think of the words to say. Write a greeting card for someone in your community to help them express themselves about a new diagnosis, treatment, or experience.
Now, Crippie has been making greeting cards for over 10 years... so when I saw this I opted to literally make a quarter fold card that you can print out! OBOI! 
Whenever something really craptacular happens, people never really know what to say to you. I figured I'd make a card that pretty much says what the giver is thinking without too much flowery crap! All you have to do is click on the image and save it to your computer! 

Shnazzy ain't it? I can't believe National Health Blog Post Month is almost over. I'm gonna try to keep up with this whole posting every day thing, it's fun. I'm also planning a giveaway or two... that's right... OR TWO! If anyone has any questions for me to answer... post 'em in the comment section. Chances are I'll answer 'em. Hey, Crippie needs material to blog about ;)

BTW, if anyone has any problems with the card, let me know so I can fix it. Thanks a bunch! 

Crippie's Tippie- Making cards is surprisingly easy. I use Adobe Illustrator but there are tons of programs out there for you to make 'em yourself. 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Monday, November 28, 2011

NHBPM- Say Whhhhaaaaaaaaaaa


Over 5,000 blog views... HOLY MOLY! You guys are seriously awesome.
It looks like the last three blog prompts are gonna be very entertaining. Today's prompt is... Say WHAT?! What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve heard about health or your condition. Was there any context? What did you think at the time you heard it – and what do you think of it now?
I've heard some dandy things about my condition. I've been asked if my condition is a form of dwarfism (I'm 5' 3" btw), I've been asked if I am dying, I've been asked if I'm sterile (which was realllyyyy creeeeeppppppyyyyyyyyyy), but today I'm gonna focus on one of my most "LOL-worthy" conversations
The Context- I am in my apartment, on campus in college. One of my roommates is about to go out with her friends. One of her friends is a douche-bag. He is a an annoying little twerp who acts like he is God's gift to mankind. He also likes to pretend that he knows everything. He notices my cane and asks me why I walk with it. The conversation goes as follows...
Crippie- I have a genetic disorder
Douche-Bag- Oh? Which one?
Crippie- Multiple Hereditary Exostoses 
Douche-Bag- I've heard of that
Crippie- How the hell have you heard of it?
Douche-Bag- My mom's a nurse, I know these things. It's related to Cystic Fibrosis.
Crippie- No it's not. Cystic Fibrosis is completely unrelated to what I have. MHE has to do with bones, CF mainly has to do with mucus membranes.
Douche-Bag- No, they're related
Douche-Bag- Yes they are
Douche-Bag- My mom's a nurse, I know these things
Crippie- I've had this disease for over 20 years... I know these things more! 
Douche-Bag- So... how do they treat it? Chemotherapy? 
Crippie- Ummm... nooooooo. That's chondrosarcoma, bone cancer. Not a genetic disorder. I thought you knew all about my illness?

The douche-bag continued to try to "out-cripple" me by showing me his nerve damaged finger. I then told him both my legs have severe damage and RSD. He then said "I feel sorry for you" and then left. Dick. General rule of thumb normals, don't try to out cripple a cripple. You will not win. We will laugh at you once you leave. Also general rule of thumb, don't say "I feel sorry for you" say "I'm sorry you have to go through that" something that doesn't evoke real pity. What did I think at the time I heard it? Well, once the Douche-Bag left me and my other roomies were basically like "WTF?!?!?!?!" I was pretty impressed at my ability to out-cripple him and call him out on his BS! What do I think of it now? Looking back on it I think "Lulz... douche-bag".

Crippie's Tippie- If you want to ask a cripple about their illness, be polite and don't be a wise ass.

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Sunday, November 27, 2011

NHBPM- Crippie Quote-ie


I finally made an official Facebook Page for Crippie's Corner! The other page I have is technically for my graphic design stuff and I figured it was time to separate the two, although I still am going to send blog updates to my "wynning designs" page too.
I can see the light at the end of the National Health Blog Post Month! If only I could fully understand tonight's prompt... Quote Unquote. Grab a quote from this site (type in any word – see what comes up!) and use that quote to set you writing.
Seems like an easy prompt, right? NO! I tried typing in words like "cripple", "tumor", and other various disability words I came up with blog entries from other readers. I also tried words like "nachos", "llama", "weasel", and various other stupid words because I am an "internet female" and it's what we do. So it's not like I'm willingly ignoring a prompt... it's just that I fail at it.
To make up for my failure I'll discuss one of my all time favorite cripple quotes. It was told to me by a fellow cripple years ago and it really changed my opinion on being a cripple.
We are zebras, we must revel in our differences.
I love this quote for several reasons. The whole referring to cripple as a zebra thing is great, because zebras are freakin' awesome. They're like horses... BUT PRETTIER!!!! Sure, I might be different because I'm a cripple, but that's not a bad thing. It's something to embrace and be proud of. Sure, my arms and legs are kinda crooked, my fingers and toes are a little weird, I'm slightly shorter than what I should've been, whatever... it makes me unique. It sets me apart from everyone else, and being different from everyone else is a wonderful thing! 

Crippie has a really random question for her wonderful readers... know any good ways to painlessly untangle hair? My hair is super curly and frizzy and has recently decided to start locking together. I don't think dread locs are good look for me. I could cut the really stupid areas out, but I have issues cutting my hair really short (bad memories). Any tips readers? And yes, my hair looks like this whenever I brush it. 

Crippie's Tippie- Wanna buy my book? Use the code CYBERMONDAY to get 30% OFF... TODAY ONLY!!! 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Saturday, November 26, 2011

NHBPM- Crippie Remembers The Good Ol' Days


Soooo close to finishing NHBPM... I can almost see the finish line! Today's topic seems entertaining... I still remember... Free write a post that starts with the line “I still remember...”

Alrighty, Crippie is about to go into 90's kid mode... prepare yourselves folks.
I still remember when Nickelodeon had good television shows on it. None of this "Penguins of Madagascar" or "iCarly" crap. In my day there were shows like "Rugrats", "Hey Arnold", "As Told By Ginger" that actually taught kids to be nice. IMAGINE THE THOUGHT! I still remember when the cartoons had actual morals and lessons. Now a days all the shows have back-sassing brat characters with dumb ass parents. Seriously, I think today's television shows help contribute to the nation's bullying epidemic. They teach kids to disrespect their elders and each other. I still remember when TV shows either had the bully get what was coming to them (Rugrats) or showed that the bully was living in a less than ideal situation (Hey Arnold). Now it seems like attitude is the main focus of the character versa heart. I mean Spongebob is still an awesome show, but it's gettin' up there in age. "Fairly Odd Parents" isn't a terrible show, but Timmy Turner should've been taken away by CPS years ago. This all applies to the Disney channel too. Don't get me started on Hannah Montana. 
To summarize, I still remember when children's television shows were still worth watching.
Lolz, I don't have any negativity towards Nickelodeon at all ;).

Crippie's Tippie- The entire series of Hey Arnold as well as other awesome Nick shows are available on 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Friday, November 25, 2011

NHBPM- Never Have I Ever

It's Black Friday, Friday, gotta make fun of Rebecca Black on Friday!

I seriously hope none of my readers were trampled in any way, shape or form today! Crippie had a wonderful time with her Jersey relatives and enjoyed a rather nomerful turkey.
Let's carry on to today's NHBPM post shall we (ONLY A FEW MORE LEFT... W00T) today's prompt is... Never Have I Ever. You stick to your guns – now tell us about what. What is something you’ve never done but want to. What’s something you’ve never done and won’t budge on?

Okie dokie...
Something I've never done but want to- Travel outside of the US. Crippie's gone on a few vacations in her lifetime but all of them have been in the US. I would love to go to the following places:
1) Norway- to visit my Norwegians
2) Ireland- I wanna walk around Ireland with an Irish accent and see if anyone will call me out on it.
3) Holland- As "not fun" as this sounds I want to go on a tour of various sites from WWII, Anne Frank's house is on the top of that list. I also want to pay my respects at some of the concentration camps across Europe.
4) Egypt- I've always enjoyed mummies, I'd love to see all the famous Pharaohs in the museum in Cairo

Yeah, Crippie is a bit of a history buff.

Now, Something I've never done and have no intentions of ever doing- I have never gotten wasted/drunk. Apart from the fact that I can't drink with my medication, I was told that a hangover feels like waking up from a surgery. I hate the feeling of waking up from a surgery so I have no intention of willingly doing that to myself. I hate the taste of alcohol. Relatives give me alcohol to sip to see my "alcohol face" which, if you can picture it, is like a lemon face times 10. It just tastes like nail polish to me. If ever I do drink alcohol I don't let myself get beyond the buzzed point. Yeah, Crippie really doesn't approve of alcohol. I won't judge ya if you drink responsibly every once in a while, but if you go out and get wasted every other night... Crippie isn't terribly fond of that.

Crippie's Tippie- Doing any holiday shopping? Don't forget to use to donate money to the charity of your choice. 

ALSO if you want to buy Crippie's BOOK use the code BUYMYBOOK305 to get 25% off your order through 
December 15th!

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Thursday, November 24, 2011

NHBPM- Tommy Tumor

May the Light of Love by David Roth on Grooveshark

I figured I'd start this out post out with my favorite Thanksgiving song (apart from Alice's Restaurant, but no one would stay on my screen for 20 minutes to hear it). Crippie wishes all of her readers a happy and healthy holiday. I'll spending the holiday with some of my relatives in New Jersey, OBOI.
I find it a little weird that today's blog prompt has nothing to do with Thanksgiving at all, but it's still very enjoyable nonetheless. My Mascot! Give your condition, community, or self a mascot. Who is it? What do they represent? What is their battle cry?

True story, Crippie made a mascot for her condition yeaaaaaaarrrrssssssss ago. I was making a comic for a magazine that releases every couple of months and I created a character named...
Who is it- Tommy Tumor is a fun loving tumor that always manages to have part of it's tumor self chopped off in one way or another. Technically he is a malformed bone with tumors on it.
What does it represent- *tries to sound like an artist who knows what they are talking about* Tommy Tumor is a lighthearted metaphor for for someone with MHE who has to have what seem like constant surgeries to remove their tumors. 
What is their battle cry- See the video below...

There ya have it folks. My diseases mascot is a tumor that sings the "I'm a Tumor Song". I'm so deep and metaphorical, it blows my mind sometimes.

Crippie's Tippie- Enjoy your Thanksgiving and remember to be thankful for EVERYTHING you have! 


This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

NHBPM- Cripple Etiquette

Ohai Everyone!

I hope everyone enjoyed their day before Thanksgiving. I got off work early so I throughly enjoyed my day. Today's blog prompt looks awesome, and by that I mean I can do whatever I want with saying something like "IMMA REBEL" before doing so. Today's prompt is... Health Activist Choice. Write about whatever you want! Swwweeeeeeeetttt. Several normals have approached Crippie and asked various etiquette questions, so without further adieu I give you...
If the cripple is a stranger...
DON'T- Stare at them, it's really annoying
DO- If you're gonna stare at 'em you might as well just ask why said person is a cripple
DON'T- Make cripple jokes, you will look like an asshole
DON'T- Ask the cripple (or cripple's caregiver) if said cripple is dying or what their life expectancy is. If you really must know, GOOGLE IT. And yes, someone asked if I was dying once.
DO- If you see a cripple clearly struggling with something, offer to help. 

If the cripple is your friend
DON'T- Make cripple jokes unless the cripple makes them first. Not all cripples like joking about their situation
DO- Remember that cripple friends can't always do the same things as normal friends
DO- Offer your cripple friend help only when they ask for it or if you see them clearly struggling. It's not that we don't appreciate the help, it's just that we like to do things on own whenever possible.

So there ya have it folks, a basic guide for the normals! BTW normals, if I am offending any of you by calling you "normals" please let me know. If you have any other ideas for nicknames for normal people please post in the comment section. I was thinking of calling them "muggles" but I sadly I don't think it quite applies. 

Crippie's Tippie- At the end of the day just remember that cripples are "special normals". 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

NHBPM- Crippie is a REBEL!!!!!

Hi Everybody!

Crippie is gonna ignore ANOTHER NHBPM prompt tonight! The prompt I'm going to ignore tonight is... Be present. Describe something peaceful with as much sensory imagery as you can. What are the sights, sounds, scents, and feelings? 
I'm ignoring this one for several reasons, one being I'm very tired and I think I might be getting sick, the other reason is that I'm not very good at describing "love-y dove-y abstract things" like that. I'm kinda literal when it comes to that stuff.
Instead I'm gonna answer a question that I was recently asked. Since Crippie is such a rebel I was asked if I ever do things to taunt and or "freak out" normals. When Crippie is vastly outnumbered by normals I leave them alone. When Crippie is with several other crippies... HELL YEAH WE FREAK OUT NORMALS! 
We cripples are very subtle about our "normal freak outs". Generally we go out in public, somewhere with a lot of people in a small space, like an elevator and discuss our crippledness. It can be as simple as "hey look at my new scar" or as complex as "do you think society looks down on us for being disabled?" and we just continue this conversation and weird out the normals. Nothin' terrible, but boy do we enjoy weirding people out on occasion. Why do we do this? Why not? We're pretty sure that people get uncomfortable around cripples they don't know anyway... why not get some lulz out of it.

Crippie's Tippie- Don't freak out the normals tooooo often, then it loses it's magic. 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Monday, November 21, 2011



I'm 2/3rds of the way finished with NHBPM... YAY ME. Today's prompt seems pretty nifty... Ekphrasis post. Ekphrasis (writing about another art form) – Find a Flickr Image in Creative Commons that inspires you in some way (positively or negatively) and free write about it. Give yourself exactly 15 minutes to write without stopping. Don’t think! Brave bonus: Publish to your blog without editing! (You can include a disclaimer)

Alrighty, I'm not terribly good at writing without stopping. So I'm gonna post some pictures by one of my favorite artists of all time, Matt Lyon. Prepare to behold the awesome!

Told ya they were awesome. Whenever I need design inspiration or just a little boost of "teh happiez" Matt Lyon's work is there. It's bold, colorful, organic, full of texture and pattern gotta love the pattern, and just beautiful overall. I'm relatively sure that I've mentioned in prior posts that I like to look at pretty things in order to distract myself from whatever ugly things are going on in my life. I literally feel happier when I look at his artwork and typography prints. What can I say, I'm a sucker for pretty colors and typography... and I'm in heaven when he works an inspirational quote into typography pieces.

So yeah, I'm pretty easy to please when it comes to art... as long as the colors are pretty I'm good.

Crippie's Tippie - Check out it's filled with other up and coming artists. They also have an iPod app for backgrounds. True story, I have well over 800 pictures saved from this app.

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Sunday, November 20, 2011

NHBPM- Crippie Makes A Funny

Greetings Fellow Earthlings,

I hope you all had a lovely Sunday. I spent my day working, sleeping, and watching silly YouTube videos with my Frida. Speaking of YouTube, todays NHBPM post is... LOL post. Write a post about a moment that made you laugh. Or a video, picture, blog post, or something else that made you laugh.

Frida wanted to share a video with you guys before I share my favorite silly videos...
Now on to my favorite silly videos

I have no life and watch YouTube videos all the freakin' time... sue me. Got any videos you think will crack me up, post 'em in the comment section. I'll gladly edit this post to add more stupid videos.

Crippie's Tippie- and are also great sites for stupid videos. I love them.

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Saturday, November 19, 2011

NHBPM- Crippie Highlights!

Ohai Everybody!

Angel says thank you for any birthday well wishes and a special thank you for any well wishes that actually involved food. Moving on to tonight's blog prompt, its pretty easy so I won't ignore it ;). The topic today is... “Best of” post. Grab a post from your archives and repost it! Add a few sentences at the beginning to frame it. Why you chose it. Why you liked it. And why it should be shared again. 
Alrighty, I'm gonna base my "best of" post by the amount of views/comments/feedback/etc. I've gotten from it.

1st Awesome Crippie Post - THE SCAR WARS POST. I guess people like hearing me talk about tampon shaped scars.

2nd Awesome Crippie Post - THE IT'S GON RAIN POST. It's awesome for several reasons... OLLIE WILLIAMS, RAIN, PEOPLE LIKE IT

3rd Awesome Crippie Post - THE CRIPPIE LISTS THE PROS AND CONS OF BEING A CRIPPLE POST - People like finding pros to being a cripple I reckon.

So there ya go, 3 of Crippie's most popular posts. Enjoy 'em all over again!

Crippie's Tippie- Google Analytics is a nifty tool to use if you want to track blog stats beyond what blogger has. 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Friday, November 18, 2011

NHBPM- Crippie Ignores Yet Another Prompt!

Hey Y'all!

I've decided to ignore yet another prompt! Yay me! The prompt I'm ignoring today is... A comment as a blog post. Pick someone else’s post (from the past or from today) and write a comment to them. Write that comment as your blog post for today. Link back to them to let them know you were inspired. Yeah, I'm honestly too tired to write something meaningful. To be fair I'll post some links of cripple blogs that I enjoy and read whenever I get the chance... - awesome blog and very honest - one of "my" cripples (by that I mean we both have MHE) blogs about her life and her stupidly adorable children... I'm serious, her kids are freakin' cute. - informative and well written *snaps for smart bloggers*

So there, I kinda did what I was supposed to do... but I really just wanna show you pictures of Angel's "birthday" burger. We were gonna do a little deli platter thing but we opted for a burger again at the last minute. 
Do you have any food for me?

Is that a burger I see?



Can I have some more? Please?

Yes, to those wondering, that's what Crippie sounds like and yes, my sister photobombed the video. 

Crippie's Tippie- If you are looking for a dog, always look at shelters and local rescues first. There are plenty of little Angels who need good homes.


This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Thursday, November 17, 2011

NHBPM- Let It Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


Well, it looks like today's NHBPM prompt is not quite as chipper as yesterday's... oh well. Today's prompt is... Let It Be. What’s something that bothers you or weighs on you? Let it go. Talk out the letting go process and how you’re going to be better to yourself for it.

Okay... <StartCrippleRant>
Alright, occasionally when I check out other blogs (I like pretty blogs... SUPPORT THE PRETTY BLOGS) and see posts where they are discussing things in their lives like buying an apartment, living in some big city, getting married, whatever it might be... it makes me feel... well... bad. I start thinking things like "I could've done that if I wasn't a cripple". I guess seeing random normals thriving makes me feel sickly. It's not that I'm unhappy with my life or anything, but being reminded of what I'm missing hurts. It's not an all consuming pain though, I feel happiness for the normal in their time of good fortune, it can just get me down from time to time.
As far as the letting go process, I try to be as rational as possible and think the following things...
-ENOUGH WITH THE "WHAT IFS"- There is no point in thinking this, stop wasting your time and emotions
-It is what it is - I can't change the situation so I might as well accept it
-There is someone out there reading my blog thinking "wow, Crippie is so lucky" she's overcoming her disability. She got a job, fantastic". Stop being a dick and be grateful for where you are in your life, could it be better, of course, but it could be a whoolllleeee lot worse.

So yeah, there are times when negative feelings weigh me down, but ultimately I remember that a negative attitude will get me nowhere. I try to focus on the positives in my life and just accept the rest.

On a lighter note... ANGEL'S "BIRTHDAY" IS TOMORROW!!! We have decided to go with a deli platter of people food for her. I'm gonna try and get that on video.

Crippie's Tippie - When I am in a particularly bad mood I literally start singing "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life"... it usually helps me feel better.

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

NHBPM- I'm Pretty Sure I Can


I've been singing that "Imma Tumor Song" in my head AAALLLLL DAY LONG. I'm pretty sure i was singing it in my dreams last night... yeah, my username is Special McSpecial for a reason. Lucky for you guys tonight's prompt doesn't involve songs that will get stuck in your head for the remainder of the day. Today's cue is... Little Engine Post. Write a list post with 10-15 lines that start each with “I think I can...” Write 5 lines at the end that start with “I know I can.”
Let's being shall we?
- I think I can drive on roads that I'm not completely familiar with without someone else in the car
- I think I can teach some of my guinea pigs how to do tricks (I would say all but I'm realistic) 
- I think I can obtain a bunch of freelance clients 
- I think I can work a 40+ hour week and not feel completely tired
- I think I can learn to play the song "I'll Fly Away" on my mandolin (seriously, that's the only song I want to learn to how to play... CRAP I'M SINGING IT MY HEAD NOW... NNNNNOOOOOO) 
- I think I can get the song "I'll Fly Away" out of my head
- I think I can gain more independence over the next year or so 
- I think I can learn how to cook (I can make a mean fried egg, but that's about it)
- I think I can design and illustrate a bunch of books 
- I think I can come up with ten "I think I can phrases"

- I KNOW I can finish NHBPM without missing a day
- I KNOW I can lift a giant ass branch when it falls on my property after a storm (long story) 
- I KNOW I can overcome my driving anxiety
- I KNOW I can push myself to do things I didn't think were possible
- I KNOW I can come up with one last "I know I can phrase".

Crippie's Tippie- If this whole concept of "I think I can" seems stupid to you... break your your goal into smaller goals. Ex. I can work for five hours *five hours passes* I can work for 10 hours, etc. 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

NHBPM- Crippie's Anthem

Hey Y'all

WE'RE AT THE HALFWAY POINT OF NHBPM! Tonight's prompt looks purdy damn entertaining... This one’s for you, baby. Dedicate a song to your condition. Why did you pick that song? Find a youtube or link to a version to embed in your post. Not gonna lie, I've been pretty stoked for tonight's prompt since day one. Honestly, the moment I saw this prompt I knew what song I was going to dedicate to my condition. QUICK REMINDER- My condition is Multiple Hereditary Exostoses, it causes benign tumors to grow on my bones.
So without further adieu I give you... 
Yes, I dedicate the "Imma Tumor Song" from Family Guy to my condition. Seriously, what else other songs could I have done? "My Humps"? I don't think so. Why did I pick that song? THE SONG IS SUNG BY A SINGING TUMOR ABOUT HOW IT'S A TUMOR!!! It's been my theme song from the moment I saw the episode. 

Crippie's Tippie- If you ever want to find a hilarious/borderline offensive clip about a specific disability, Family Guy is the show for you.

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Monday, November 14, 2011

NHBPM- Crippie Walks Onto An Elevator...


I hope everyone had a good Monday. I was at work for 11 and a half hours today, I'm kinda surprised I'm still conscious. So I'm gonna try and finish today's prompt before passing out. Elevator blog. If you were in an elevator with someone and they asked about your blog. What would you tell them? Make a version for a 30 second elevator ride. Make a version for a 1 minute elevator ride. Make a version for a 2 minute elevator ride.

30 SECONDS- My name is Crippie, I was born with a rare genetic disorder and I blog about living with a disabiliy.
1 MINUTE- My name is Crippie, I was born with a rare genetic disorder and I blog about living with a disabiliy and trying to remain positive in spite of all the crap.
2 MINUTES- My name is Crippie, I was born with a rare genetic disorder and I blog about living with a disabiliy and trying to remain positive in spite of all the crap. I answer questions that people are too embarrassed to ask. I also incorporate humor and design into my blog because apart from being a cripple, I'm a wise ass designer.


Crippie's Tippie-hhhyyyyyyyyyyyyydjttukkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkki (crippie has fallen asleep on her keyboard)

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Sunday, November 13, 2011

NHBPM- Crippie Ignores The Prompt

Hi Y'all

As the title suggests, Crippie is being a rebel and not following today's prompt... mainly because it's not very good. It was... Open a book. Point to a page. Free write for 10-15 minutes on that word or passage. Post without editing if you can!

Yeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nnnnooooooooooooo

Oh well, I'm still doing the post a day thing so I don't see this as failing. Moving on I'd figure I'd answer a question that I've been asked several times "Do you have a Cripple-dar or Cripple-sensor? Essentially they are asking if I can spot a person with a disability and can I figure out why they are disabled. My "cripple-dar" is pretty strong when it comes to visibly crippled people. I can pick up on certain limps, movements, mannerisms, physical characteristics, etc and I can usually figure out what's wrong with them. I think of this as a sixth sense if you will 
"I SEE CRIPPLED PEOPLE". Why can I do this? Probably because I've watched one too many discovery health specials.

Crippie's Tippie- Try to find a more interesting and or useful sixth sense, being able to see cripples is not particularly useful.

P.S. Did you like my cane tutorial? Would you like a custom cane of your own? Well, you can check out Crippie's STORE where I sell canes I have made or check out my BOOK, where I discuss making canes.

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Saturday, November 12, 2011

NHBPM- Crippie Makes A Shiny Pimp Cane


I hope everyone had a lovely Nigel Tufnel day. Mine went pretty well. The anti-stigma conference was very fun. It was good so see so many people who were able to understand each others issues. Babysitting also went well, I lost a bet to an 11 year old... but what can you do.

Moving on today's NHBPM prompt is most entertaining... Teach a class. What’s something that you’re uniquely great at and could teach a class on? Write the tutorial in a blog post. Bonus points for images, links to resources, and video.

Today Crippie will be teaching you guys how to pimp out your cane and make it shiny. You need the following items...
1- A Cane
2- Rhinestones- flat backed, the smaller the better
3- Glue- I prefer PVA Glue, but gorilla glue or some other freakishly strong glue works too

STEP FOUR- REPEAT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOO'. Make a few lines of rhinestone and let them dry (the glue will dry completely clear)
And eventually you will have something like this..

Crippie's Tippie- I used two different sized rhinestones to accommodate for the fact that they don't fit perfectly around the cane. 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Friday, November 11, 2011

NHBPM- Something So Right


Today better freakin' go to 11. Lucky for us today's prompt is happy and positive so it's a start to going to 11. The topic for Nigel Tufnel day is... If it’s not broke, don’t fix it. What is working well in your community, healthcare, blogs, social media, or your work in particular? What do you like about it?

First off, the is working reallllllyyyyy well is Nigel Tufnel's amp that goes to 11. The other thing that is working really well for me as cripple is social media. Just today I was engaged in an epic battle of "Words With Friends" with one of my fellow cripples who I only get to physically see once a year if that. Things like facebook, twitter, etc. help me keep in closer contact with my fellow crippies. I remember in the days before facebook (five years ago-ish) I didn't have a lot of direct contact with my cripples and it was also a lot harder to find new cripples. Thanks to facebook I can socialize and spam the walls of some of my cripple friends, give advice to someone who made a page or a group about my disorder, and just in general see what my cripples are doing. It helps reassure the fact that I'm not alone. 

So yeah, that was the prompt for today. Movin' on today is going to be very busy. From 8:30-4:30 I will be attending an "anti-stigma" conference for mental illnesses. My sister (who has bipolar disorder) will be performing at the event. I'll definitely tell y'all about it. I'm also gonna be babysitting tomorrow but that's not particularly interesting. Actually, I really should get to sleep... I have to be up in 5 hours!

Crippie's Tippie- Don't see any pages or groups for your disability... MAKE ONE.

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Thursday, November 10, 2011

NHBPM- Crippie Tries To Predict The Future


How are all my lovely readers doing today? I hope you all are good. Crippie spent last night being a psychic and predicting 97% of the winners for the CMA Awards. Seeing Brad Paisley molest Miss Piggie made my night. Anyway, speaking of being a psychic today's NHBPM prompt is...The future of online activism. Our favorite social media sites are constantly undergoing renovations to become quicker to navigate, easier to interact with, all encompassing, mobile, and everywhere. Imagine the same thing about your community – how will they evolve, improve, and grow?

First things first, I believe that the future of web design will be less coding and more user friendly in terms of design. This will make it easier for smaller, lesser known diseases and causes to have better, more efficient websites simply because they won't have to hire some fancy shmancy web designer and web masters to keep the website running. Currently, most of the smaller non-profit organizations have very simple websites, homepage, contact, basic info, and some pages with more in-depth information where people go to find support. They might have e-mail  or facebook groups where people can contact each other and ask questions.

I think that the non-profit support group website of the future will have a smarter organization system for their information, and more importantly... forums. I imagine that these sites will be able to create forum boards for people to ask and get information. The people would have to register and make a basic profile, thus helping keep up a database on the people involved with the group.

Technically there are websites like this out there, one such website is the site Crippie goes to in order to obtain information on guinea pigs, This is a very smart site design wise. It has relatively easy navigation so if I needed to look something up quickly I can find it, also it has the almighty forum. People post about issues they are having with their pigs and they get replies rather quickly. This site also requires you to "sign a contract" of sorts before posting. They don't allow things like intentionally bad grammar, and the strict rules have kept the site troll free.

So yeah, that's what I imagine the websites of the future will look like. I think twitter and facebook will mainly serve as traffic directors for the main site since all of the social aspects will be contained within the website.

Crippie's Tippie- Until this magical future arrives... BEFRIEND ALL THE NERDS. Chances are they will be able to code a nice site for your non-profit. 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

NHBPM- Branding "Crippie"


Statement #3 was the lie, apart from the episode where Marsha gets pelted in the face with the football, I really don't care for the Brady Bunch. Moving on to a more interesting prompt, today's is... My personal brand. As a Health Activist, you are a front-facing leader. What do you imagine you look like to your readers? What qualities do you possess. It’s ok to toot your own horn today – you have full permission to indulge. And don’t hold back.
Ideally I'd like to appear as awesome smart, quirky, funny, optimistic, ginger and a cripple. Realistically this is what I think people see when they imagine me

If there are any rage comic readers on this blog that agree with that image... PLEASE COMMENT. I really want to know if I'm right in this assumption. So yeah, I think people see me as quirky, nerdy, optimistic (almost annoyingly optimistic), ginger cripple. I tried to take some photobooth pictures of how I "want" to appear as an activist/blogger but this is what I ended up with...
Yeaaaahhhh... I ended up with a weird blend of serious and funny which works for me, and yes Frida Kahlo is photobombing those pictures. Ultimately that's what I try to brand myself as. Crippie is a blogger/activist who uses humor and optimism to get through tough times. That's me in a nutshell right there. 

So what do you guys think? Am I in the general ballpark here? Am I a totally dallusional asshole? 

Crippie's Tippie- As far as general blog branding goes, I think having a nickname helps you be more memorable in the reader's eyes. 

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: 

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

NHBPM- 3 Truths And Maybe A Lie I Guess


One week of this NHBPM thing down, 3 to go! Speaking of the number the topic de jour is... 3 Truths and 1 lie. Tell us 3 things that are true about you, your condition, your Health Activism, or your life. Now tell us 1 lie. Do you think we will be able to tell the difference?

I'm not quite sure how I would do this for my condition and or "health activism" so I'm just gonna do it about good ol' Crippie. Here are four statements about Crippie. If you think you know which one is the lie, post it in the comment section. I'll reveal the answer tomorrow. 
STATEMENT ONE: I collect American Girl Dolls
STATEMENT TWO: I have about 25 Canes in my living room
STATEMENT THREE: My favorite show of ALL time is "The Brady Bunch"
STATEMENT FOUR: I can whistle the theme song to "The Andy Griffith Show" 

So there you are folks, have at it. Not the most interesting blog post in the world... sorry 'bout that. THE WRITERS CHALLENGE PROMPTS TOLD ME TO DO THAT I TELL... BLAME THEM.

Well, to make up for this rather dull prompt, I'll discuss how Crippie's pets are doing. November 18th marks the first anniversary of our dog Angel's adoption. When we first got her she was a scared little Lhasa Apso who was abused at one point and left a shelter. A year later she is a very loved and very well fed dog. She loves long walks, playing with neighbor dogs, eating, belly rubs, and begging.  We want to do something sorta special for her for her "birthday". Crippie was thinking cooking her a hamburger and letting her just go to town. Any suggestions readers?
New puppy Helen has been here for two months and we are already seeing a huge difference in her. She now recognizes me as "the aunt that spoils her". She gives her "mommy" great big kisses, and she prances around the house like she owns the place. We're pretty sure that she thinks she's a baby, she cries when she's unhappy and she likes to be held like a baby. She says thank you to whoever said she was adorable on this blog.
The piggies are doing very well. Three of my pigs (Including Frida) turned 3 in October. They celebrated with huge salads.
Yup, so that's how all of Crippie's pets are doing.

Angel's Tippie- Give your dog lots of treats, we are happier when we have lots of treats.
Helen's Tippie- Give us lots of treats and tell me I'm pretty.
Piggies Tippie- Just feed us and we'll be really happy

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